pw woes

i spent 107 minutes the moment i woke up on looking at yiyan's powerpoint slides for the oral presentation. omg eye pop out already! today is going to be an uneventful day. i've been telling people to come online to talk to me. and unconditionally too.

change your mind

i was at the singapore museum biennale again with siuchu, beejuan and jia en. i really had to see the artwork by mariko mori again. it's the zen-like light structure. this time, we didn't walk onto the raised platform, but sat by the side. it's the first time i saw it emit blue and green lights. i don't know, what's so captivating about it? everything just fades away when the light turns off. i think, only children would walk onto the raise platform. adults don't, only children who still believe in magic do.

we missed the shuttle service to the tanglin camp biennale twice. twice! even when we got the bus eventually, we had to walk such a long way to get to the actual site. and, it was quite freaky. you wouldn't want to be lost there at night.

oh the tanglin camp artworks are really quite nice! there were some freaky ones like 'we live in a dangerous world' with scary-looking plugged people. there were some interesting ones like 'star', which allowed you to shout into the microphone amidst thunderous applause! 'secret garden' was nice. it was a bit scary to climb up the ladder at first, because i didn't know what i would see, but hey it was soothing to find that my head had popped into a serene garden.

we entered the room labelled 'belief board'. it was so interesting to read all the things written in there! some were wishes, others were offers. it's amazing how much people believe in the power of writing things down and praying for them to happen.

i collected 23 more badges today. and we went to tiong bahru market for dinner. luckily 'lee hong kee cantonese roast' was open even though it was a monday. yay i tried it today, but it was quite expensive. still haven't gone to the singapore art museum biennale yet.

make you happier than yesterday, but not happier than tomorrow.

J from the 'belief board'

vast

the haze is back this morning. i often wonder how the haze will ever disappear. assuming that it doesn't dissolve into thin air, it'll only get blown around the world depending on the wind directions. so, the only way that the haze will disappear is that it gets dissipated around the entire globe until no one can detect it with the naked eye. ah yes, diffusion!

my class is planning a class gathering.

grow, go, glow

just came back from tiong bahru market. yay i had the chwee kueh after so many years. there's a storm brewing now. i didn't go to the class outing last thursday, so i'm reliving the happiness through the photos on yihui's blog.

short film

i gave up my umbrella this morning when going for my violin lesson, then it rained on me at aljunied. the bus i was in had a leaky roof. i was stranded in a bus stop in the rain. then i recalled that rain in the humid tropics was intense but short, so i waited. five minutes later, the rain became a drizzle, and i walked into the condominium.

my teacher asked me if i wanted to buy a new bow for $300. i need someone to help me decide.

i mopped the floor and wiped the fans today. i really like the way my life is simpler now. i don't have to keep trying to practise for chamber, or worry about not being good enough for myself and anyone. because now i'm doing what i do best, and it's what i want.

i don't have time to think about you anymore.

today, i saw a really charming dog. someday, i would like to walk on the nice bridge at tanjong rhu. and one day, i'll save up US$900 for joel to fly back.

virtu

i dreamt of taking out my lego bricks to make my aeroplane. i had forgotten how to do it.

syo sounds different without danil. ibert's flute concerto is nice, and jonathan didn't come for rehearsal today. but he came to ccab after rehearsal for some reason i'm not supposed to say. i'll quote dumbledore. 'you see, people change in a maze. oh yes, by all means find the trophy, but be careful not to lose yourselves on the way.'

do you care when i don't talk to you anymore? when is a good time?

fugue

the glass on the doors of the nel trains make me look slim. it was a chocolate galore at candy empire today. went to vivocity to look around with yiyan, jia en, weiyang, beejuan and siuchu. we had dinner at food republic, and i had the curry rice again, but i changed to set B today.

the 'scream' thing at hwa chong was scary. we watched a bit of 'shutter'. couldn't go for the haunted trail, but we went for the maze. omg, i think i'm scarier than the maze. you see, the moment i entered i just screamed and screamed, like the way emily rose did. it's been a long time since i screamed like that. then there was this girl/ghost that i stood in front of and just screamed. she got so pissed that she actually told me to 'just shut up and go'. omg i should have just started a fight with that ghost there and then. haha then there was this nice china-chinese guy asking us to sit, and beejuan kept rejecting. he was freakily nice. and then genesis appeared. oh haha weiyang told us later that when genesis was asking 'am i pretty?', he said 'yes'. and she screamed.

managed to see kaiherng a few times today, but not carmen.

i cannot drink from yiyan's water bottle because i can't see my mouth.

expiry

i didn't want to leave chamber.

but the statement above is true. and the statement below is false.

but the statement above is true.

cavatine

i was truly afraid of falling asleep last night, and i was glad that i woke up this morning. it confirmed my existence. today wasn't really a happy day. beejuan copied my vectors notes, boyle copied beejuan's vectors notes, james copied boyle's vectors notes.

there wasn't physics, so pw got pushed forward. the class went for lunch outing, but i didn't go. it doesn't matter, i didn't really want to go anyway. at least james would have had fun. my left eye kept twitching throughout the day, and i think it was a bad sign. yes, ruolin tricked me, so that in the end, i chose to go to ccab by myself. i had to skip dinner.

today was danil's remembrance service. i didn't actually think that i would cry, but i did. it was the second funeral i'd been to, and so had adriel. i feel like a terrible person. you see, some part of me hated danil because he was mean. but i cried today because i found that i couldn't hate him anymore. in fact, the terrible part was that if he hadn't died, i might not have let go of the hate.

and suddenly, death isn't so scary anymore.

we all face parting at some points of our lives. sometimes, we say 'goodbye' to those we'll see someday again. sometimes, we say 'goodbye' to the people who leave us forever. yes, we all face parting in our lives. the pain that comes from eternal separation is immense. some of us ease that pain by crying. some blame others for their pain. then there are those who simply try to ignore the hurt and move on. and some of us pray for serenity.

close your head and bow your eyes.

you once corrected my pronunciation of 'infidelity'. now i'm doing all i can to avoid you, but i've been walking everywhere alone for such a long time that i think i deserve some better treatment from you.

cosmetics

i'm no longer thick-skinned enough to be around shanghui. i'm just not strong enough. i can't continue hoping that one day he'll treat me the way he treats everyone else. and so i chose to leave before he left me. i'm happy in art club doing what i do now. but it's not the same, and cannot be the same, because there's no shanghui.

he didn't bother to say 'hi' to me this morning. i don't think it's because he didn't see me. yeah right, if i stopped bugging him, he would treat me nicer? see, i'm no longer bugging him. i've given up chamber so that i don't see him anymore, so that i won't bug him. has he started treating me nicer? no, he simply ignores me. if i don't make my presence known to him, then i'll just be invisible to him.

i stopped talking to him on 10th october.

vendetta trasversale

last night was terrible. i broke my bottle of saturated chrome alum solution. omg it took me half a year to filter out the dust and saturate it. and it took me one hour to suck up anything i could save and mop away the rest.

i discovered that i must take the green 410 bus service from the bus interchange to school. not the white service. i felt addicted to take the bus to school, and so i acted upon the addiction. there was an auntie who got on, sat behind the exit, and secretly tapped her card so that she didn't have to pay the exorbitant bus fees. then, i saw another auntie doing the same thing, but this one smashed the card reader fiercely, as though daring anyone to stop her.

i don't like how some things are the way they are now. this morning, i walked past shanghui. at first i saw him, but i just looked away and walked on without a second glance. i suppose he didn't want to say anything anyway.

shirong told me that danil passed away yesterday morning. i need time to absorb that information. the problem is, i can't/don't feel anything, and i think that's really terrible. i'm scared.

i was guiding at the city hall biennale today. and i met ng yi-sheng too.

it's as though if i didn't make my presence known to you, you would treat me as invisible. and so, i must force my presence on you so that you have no choice but to notice that i'm here. are you ok?

choice

i wanted to bitch-slap a boy who threw a bomb bag in front of me. went to yiyan's house to play mahjong. omg we still couldn't complete one round in one day, but we stopped in between to play bridge. eh jia en cannot play mahjong by herself, she needs yiyan. the train passed by kovan twice today.

selamat hari raya.

pisces

i had a nice dream. there was ice skating with my class. in the dream, i really could skate, the way my og mates did that day when we went. and as with all dreams, they just don't make sense. there was a sudden shift in setting from the cold ice skating rink to the hot outdoors. i saw shanghui and weicheng there too. and we were going to play in a rise concert. haha weicheng was my desk partner. we played reinecke's serenade.

i guess some things are not meant to work the way you want them to. they are like non-newtonian fluids. the more you try to fix them, the more they behave absurdly. they simply screw up more and more, and then you finally decide to leave them alone, but now they don't want to leave you alone.

when the truth is ugly, people try to keep it hidden, because they know, if revealed, the damage it would do. so they conceal it within sturdy walls, or they place it behind closed doors, or they obscure it with clever disguises. but truth, no matter how ugly, always emerges. and someone we care about always ends up getting hurt. and someone else will revel in their pain, and that's the ugliest truth of all. there is a prayer intended to give strength to people facing circumstances they don't want to accept. the power of the prayer comes from its insight into human nature. because so many of us rage against the hand that life has dealt us. because so many of us are cowardly and afraid to stand up for what is right. because so many of us give into despair when faced with an impossible choice. the good news for those who utter these words is that God will hear you and answer your prayer. the bad news is that sometimes, the answer is not what you want to get.

vectorial tutorial

i played 'heart attack' with weiyang, yishi, beejuan, jia en and siuchu today. i played it with sweaty palms and everyone found it fun. so did i. i was trying to make a pot at the art room after school, but i couldn't. i suddenly had the feeling like i wasn't going to make it in time to complete the thing. ended up playing rubik's cube with yiyan, who screwed up my arrangement twice.

today's weizhen's birthday, and there was an absolutely kickass cake.

i don't understand why people like to celebrate getting old. but then again, i get jealous when my sister has a big birthday party where i can't invite anyone. her birthday's only three days before mine, and once hers is celebrated, no one wants to celebrate mine, because it's just easier to do both on the same day.

once again, thank you for this wonderful party.

oh come off it (700th entry!)

woke up at 1pm today yay! i swept the floor, and watched a bit of korean drama. i like a world without strangers, where everyone's a little bit racist.

conniving little bitch

oh i woke up so early today to go and see the biennale at the singapore museum. once again, everything was about 'belief'. there was this carpet with words woven on it. it was interesting. the words appeared to be chinese characters, but were really formed by assembling english letters together. we kept trying to read the english words to form sentences, but they simply didn't make any sense. mr chia says that maybe it really is a carpet meant to question your belief system, and it's simply playing a mind game with you.

we saw a japanese painting called 'harakiri schoolgirls', which i'm sure weiyang would definitely like to see. there was a video on last suppers, and there was a scene in a factory where they were slaughtering lambs. eew there was so much blood gushing out it was disgusting =( there was also a really disturbed painter who painted himself mutilated, and the body parts he cut out were all the wrong ones.

omg the ultimate artwork i saw today was some light thing. first, you'll walk into a very dark corridor, and then you finally reach this room that is completely dark, except for the thing in centre of the room. it was a tall structure mounted on a big platform, and it keeps on lighting up and becoming dim again. it wasn't very glaring, just soft lighting. it felt so much like the scene in 'finding nemo' where marlin and dory were both deep under the sea and were being enchanted by the light of an angler fish.

it's queer how everyone just seemed to walk straight towards the light in the centre of the room. mr chia said that the raised platform gives it a feeling of being a holy object. it was just so quiet in that room, maybe because everyone was too mesmerised by the light.

it was so enchanting to just sit there.

race

last night i cast my shadow on a tree. the haze was so bad that i could see the beams of floodlights. and you could observe brownian motion. there was a heavy downpour this morning. i took bus 410 to school from the mrt. oh it was so nice that there were some councillors at the bus stop offering to shelter those without umbrellas into the school.

there was a little boy on the bus. he had his umbrella open, and was walking down the bus aisle. so, his umbrella flipped inside out when it caught onto the chairs. it was quite funny.

oh, james ate tissue paper today, and it's really gross! and then toffa won black jack with two aces twice, so james had to do some funny retro hairstyles. mr tham's lesson was on games, and haha weiyang can draw! and we've started on permutations and combinations for maths yay.

went to extend passport with yiyan. hmm there were many people, but the wait was very short. wah my passport is extended to 2010.

was at heeren later with jia en and beejuan. i couldn't find the 77th street shop where joel bought the necklace. some things just changed too quickly. then, we met yishi, aminah and weiyang at cineleisure. i was back at the same place were joel and i were at, when he wanted to watch a movie but it was nc-16.

oh yes we watched 'the prestige'. omg it has such a freaky-sinister plot. the volume in the cinema was terrible, it was so damn bloody loud! i don't believe that tesla made a cloning machine.

later, we queued outside swensen's (at 10pm plus). the banana crumble was oh-my-goodness-you-must-try-it! omg really! oh but it's so fattening, i think i need to lose weight again. beejuan just sent me 'roly poly'.

we're always jealous of the unknown person. so, did you fall on him or for him?

halcyon

so tired that i just didn't want to wake up. this morning, i took the route to ri. i think it's actually shorter than going for the rjc gate. hmm, almost every ri boy i saw was using a sling bag. urgh it's everywhere, from quiksilver to crumpler.

the chemistry mock spa was so irritating when i couldn't find the test to distinguish alcohols from esters =( and then i'll lose marks twice because i couldn't complete the same thing for two sections. then everyone said to use sodium metal.

during recess, the queue at stall 6 was super long, but i insisted on queuing up. you see, i never liked to cut queues. (something for certain teachers to think about.)

oh physics practical was really fun. i was doing with yishi and weiyang. there was a resonance tube experiment, in which we simply couldn't hear the second resonating point. the diffraction grating experiment was quite fun. but it was so scary to work with the lasers!

sigh, project work is ugly. i tried doing the tutorial on permutations and combinations. and wow i used the bijection principle to solve a question correctly. completed the entire worksheet, but with so many mistakes =( i realised that i don't remember much of organic chemistry now.

it just hurts ever so slightly now. simulation? like real.

compounded

oh clara brought us pods again. i like the snickers flavour more than the mars one. today's lessons were quite boring, except geography tutorial. oh, i really hope that i have enough money to go on the barcelona trip.

i don't understand how two vectors multiply to give a scalar.

played bridge in the canteen again. i saw some people playing carrom. and then i remembered how ike used to play carrom and win everyone in the varese room. bridge is difficult to play; i can't remember which cards have been used. then i saw shanghui playing carrom with liben too.

be creative on the concept of destruction.

the theme of biennale 2006 is 'belief'. today's my first day out with art club. and the thing is, i went as an art club member. oh it's so cool that it was at the city hall. it was my first time stepping into a courtroom, and under a completely unexpected context too! there were some disturbing artwork installations in some of the courtrooms, but i think they gave me many things to think about.

donna ong has these very strange and fresh ideas on artwork displays! i liked her installation on aeroplanes. it's this whole tabletop designed like an aeroplane, but with dragonfly wings. her works question us on how far we could take our imagination, and how much we could try to realise them.

artworks take on different meanings when placed under different locational settings.

it was quite fun to be led around like a child, anticipating what would come next. but there was a lot of walking, and my legs are so tired now. i had fun today, but it's not really the same as before. we were collecting these badges for souvenirs, and tamie was pinning all of them on the entire length on her bag strap.

i don't like what i see in the mirror; because science cannot explain the bittersweetness of life.

emancipate the emaciated

oh clara's back. she bought us the pods! yummy it's so nice. i think everyone who tried it loved it. i was playing bridge in the morning, and then i realised that i'd arranged my cards the way shanghui taught me to. and i think it's so smart.

physics results came back. at first, i was horrified at how the answer scheme just didn't look familiar. but then it was ok. i got 108/120. quite upset with some careless mistakes, though. so, that's another A. ms tang did some debrief during chemistry lecture. the 'top 25 students' list still looks the same. oh, 07so6q fell out of the 'top 20 classes' list.

amazing things happened at pe today. i did three pull-ups. (i did 1.5 last week.) mr seah was around, and he was whistling 'memory' from 'cats'. and then i saw some things (i shouldn't have seen) at the spectators' gallery. went to the indoor gym to watch the others play floorball. mr shahru is a really funny teacher!

i was playing bridge again after pe in the canteen, with clara, siuchu and weiyang. oh yes partnering weiyang is really funny. we kept laughing because he was convinced his cards were terrible. laughed until stomachache. but hey, we still won one game yay!

actually, the day ended quite terribly. we got back the h3 maths test results. i got 11/30. well, james did much better. and then i realised, as i was reading the answer scheme, that i really didn't understand anything. not so perfect anymore.

i'm moving into a state of unfeel, if there's such a thing. i just want to sleep everything away, if that's possible. i want so much to talk to you like before, but you'll find me a bother again. didn't feel like having dinner today, can't wait for monday's recess.

let's play with some malapropisms too. if you named your child 'anonymous', you could name the next one 'eponymous'. don't give me beatitude problems, because yuhan once said that 'algebra' means that the algae wears bra.

this is the penultimate line.

good night.

tchotchke

i thought 'tchotchke' was a cute word.

yes we got back some papers today. and yes i almost scored full marks at maths. surprisingly, i didn't lose the mark at the differential equation question on metal expansion. sadly, i lost one mark when i didn't label a y-intercept, and another mark when i copied the question wrongly. not really happy that i lost marks for careless mistakes again, and i really checked through the paper =(

we also got back geography papers. omg yes i got an A too! my physical paper was much better than my human paper. oh my goodness i can't believe that i wrote 'the plate that is less dense will subduct under the other.' but the bomb is really clara! she's the new phenomenon in town! mr lee described her as never-before-seen, and really, she's amazing! oh yes clara's the new idol!

i was sitting with the literature students, watching some play bridge, before maths lecture. so sad, we're actually continuing with lessons on vectors. but i love maths. i happened to see a score in beejuan's file, and it was mine last time. it was a page out the viola part for mendelssohn's violin concerto. we played that for the december rise concert in 2005.

gp was fine, i didn't get an E this time. it's a B! and yes, i do think the attitude is the key to doing well, considering the minuscule marks i got for content in the essay. but hey, my language marks are quite consistent throughout the year, and it's even higher than my essay's content mark. like, totally.

miss ooi was doing malapropisms today. there was one on 'asparagus', and no one was giving the answer. so, i randomly said 'aspartic acid', and ms ooi thought i gave the right answer. she heard me say 'aspersions'. oh well, shan't deny myself of some praise.

mr tham returned us the chemistry papers. dear yiyan, who claimed that he would get U, actually topped the class! siuchu was happy that her S has become an A. i couldn't feel her joy, just the pain of doing question 2 of section C! i really died there with a 13/20! but then again, i got another A, so i was quite happy. eat that!

i was at ntuc with weiyang, yiyan, jia en and siuchu. while siuchu was doing some grocery shopping, i was staring at the chocolates section. looking at all the cadbury and nestlé, i just remembered the time when i was shopping for some birthday presents. and how i tried to wrap everything up quickly before they all melted.

went to swensens to celebrate weiyang's succesful promotion. omg he's behaving like this pregnant woman whose appetite changes so quickly. i thought that the crunchy chocolate ice cream thing would make me happier, but not really. the ice cream was really sinful, there was so much chocolate fudge and whipped cream!

i walked past jityew today. he didn't see me, though, and i couldn't say 'hi' to him. but just as well, considering i haven't been to church for a long while. he probably wouldn't recognise me.

i don't think you noticed me when i walked past you too. oh, i do miss you a lot, and i would really love to tell you how happy i am with my results. i've spent a lot of money on food today, but i still have an empty feeling inside that stems from the lack of you.

cauliflower

i'm so sad that two of clara's desperate housewives cds don't work. i went on to win 21 games on freecell in a row. and now i'm happy. we're getting back geography results tomorrow morning. looking forward to a brighter future.

ports

i dreamt that rjc moved to dover, right beside fairfield and acjc. i was thinking that i could visit my primary school teachers everyday. the dream involved some time machine as well, and i turned back time by about ten minutes.

i was sitting at a tanjong rhu bus stop after my violin lesson, yawning away and breathing in all the haze. there's this dull pain in my right brain that keeps coming on once in a while.

i mopped the floor on my knees today and they're red now.

blogthings

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. At this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Birthdate: November 22

You tend to be understated and under appreciated. You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way. People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little. Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know. Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid Your power color: Silver Your power symbol: Square Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

please stay indoors

i was at a japanese restaurant and had the paper steamboat. they served the soup-refill in a broken pot. to get back at them, i poked a hole at the bottom of the paper pot, so that the soup would drain to the fuel dish below. this either gives them more trouble when cleaning, or if they don't actually wash the fuel dish, i hope it explodes in the face of the next customer who uses it.

i hope clara's having fun in australia and buying us things!

my sister cried over spilt perfume. she didn't bother to clean the floor, so i've got esters under my feet now. and the floor feels extremely smooth. thank goodness i didn't mop the floor today, otherwise i should be really pissed.

it's the saturday after open house, i changed the bed sheets. i'm tired today.

iSomething

the open rehearsal today was quite crappy, because not many people were watching it, but it doesn't really matter. i went back to the chamber room and looked at it for quite some time. i decided that it should be cleaned.

so, i spent about two hours clearing out the trash, organising the things in the shelves, stacking up the chairs, sweeping the floor, mopping the floor, arranging all the chairs and stands, and cleaning the shelves. oh, siuchu and dawn helped. i just felt that i had to clean the room, otherwise i would be racked with guilt.

i left messages on the board so that the rise people could try to keep the room clean. the room is finally clean(ed). please mop the floor once a week. and throw out unwanted bottles, files, paper... don't you just love how neat the room is now? keep it that way!

went for my booth shift. shirong was there for a while. we played reversi twice, and she won both times. sigh, she must be really happy. the booth shift was equally crappy, because there was no one who really visited it, but it doesn't really matter. cleared up with kelly and suhui after that. brought them to marvel at how clean and neat the chamber room was. hmph they found it funny, and kelly signed my name on the messages i wrote on the board =(

went to crystal jade with siuchu, yiyan, beejuan and jia en. had the same porridge i had since the don't-know-how-many years ago. yes, i stick with what i'm used to. then, we were talking about the north-east line. i was calling it 'nel', and then i realised that it was shanghui whom i first heard using that.

oh i just remembered! i went to take nel with shanghui the second day it opened, and there were so many people! oh it was really quite crappy that i had to take the train from bishan to dhoby ghaut, change to nel to go outram, and then change train to tiong bahru again. but it was fun, i liked it.

jia en said i look nice today. note: it's not just 'nicer', but a definitive 'nice'. i walked past you a few times today. siuchu says you look quite good in black. isn't that nice? i had to take a whole stack of paper to keep in my locker. omg it was damn heavy.

it's just a small act of kindness to soothe my conscience.

substitution

i've got some weight management problems now, but on tuesday i did 1.5 pull-ups. everything is going to change now, isn't it? i realised that i might have been cheated. it really was just a prank, and i'm not going to ever see you again.

tomorrow's the last day. i'll probably miss it a lot.

honey, you wouldn't understand. it's a complicated-complex thing.

sedate

siuchu's birthday is today. and mr tham's too.

i submitted a letter today, and i just don't know if i should have. saw a lady doing sudoku on the train. she's the second person i've seen doing that. i was walking out of school with yiyan after chamber, and then we saw james. i suppose james will never talk to me. rushed home to rush to jia en's house for the barbecue.

yiyan, jia en, siuchu, beejuan, aminah, yishi and weiyang were all there. we were all contributing to the haze problem. somehow, i've been so calm the whole day today that my palms did not sweat at all while preparing the banana dessert, even with beejuan trying to make me start sweating. beejuan made this really sweet dessert that she had in africa. it does taste quite nice, but it looks really bad. couldn't finish it, so we played the number game such that the winners had to eat five scoops of it. thank goodness i was always (and will always be) lucky.

it's better to make people feel bad than to feel bad yourself.

i suddenly feel like playing the third movement of suk serenade, but i can't do that now. i would love to play the solos too, because it's fun to compete against shanghui, but i can't do that now either. there's no one around to play with.

perorate

i was quite distraught last night. this morning i was distracted. i wore the wrong spectacles out. rushed to school this morning to try to reach at the same time as yesterday. guess why. i won't tell you. i think i may have seen the back.

we watched the pompeii video for geography tutorial. oh it was the same one i saw on the italy trip. physics was on electric fields. i must do well for this topic. and i cut myself again when i handled the thick set of notes. i went through the maths notes on vectors and permutations and combinations. chemistry lecture was really quite ridiculous. pe was boring. i didn't join the class. i didn't exactly used the gym either. just didn't feel like. i was doing a pull-up once in a while.

i was really tired today. physically, emotionally, mentally tired.

some people are really impossible. i stayed back all the way till 5pm for the h3 maths, but apparently it was announced that it would be postponed to next week. so, i stayed back for nothing. and sonya was worse, she rushed home and rushed back to school to attend the non-existent lecture.

i just don't believe it. last night i told shanghui that there was h3 maths today. and he didn't tell me that it was cancelled or anything. i think he hates me. but hey, sonya tried to defend him. she said he could have simply overlooked it.

i'm in some pain now.

subject-verb agreement

oral presentation dry run was really boring. and some people don't like my spectacles. i can't really believe that we still didn't get to miss the gp lesson. however, today's lesson may be the second-best one i've had. the best was when we did the brain-gender test. today, we did nothing!

it's the first time my class was sitting on the other side of the canteen. wow i was sitting just two tables away from you, and i really don't feel anything anymore! went to watch 'world trade centre' with aminah, yishi, weiyang and siuchu. sigh ok it makes you cry, but weiyang didn't. so heartless.

we spotted mr gwee at long john silver's. with a physics teacher. i just don't think that humans are designed for loneliness.

die a little everyday

hi, i'm ivan. i'm the kind of person whose jokes no one laughs at, the kind whom you wouldn't want to be associated with. my dream is to live by the countryside, if there is one in singapore. i tend to stick with what i'm used to. when i was young, i always ordered the fish and chips from the kids' menu at every restaurant i went. you see, i don't like to try new things, unless it's a new item on the mcdonald's or kfc menu. i liked the swedish tour guide who gave me a troll figurine in norway. i totally believe that kfc prepares food freshly everyday. i just don't believe that kfc prepares healthy food.

i found 'the book of answers' again today. and i asked it the same question as i did last time. the last time, its reply was 'you will not be disappointed.' this time i asked twice and i got two very good replies still. 'it could be extraordinary' and 'yes'. (yes, i stick with what i'm used to.)

it's a battle to get the seats whenever you choose to dine in a singaporean foodcourt. i conveniently had the same curry rice at food republic again. (yes, i stick with what i'm used to.) the ribena was a bloody ripoff. i saw a caucasian man who was eating wanton noodles as if it were pasta! i tried my first blizzard from dairy queen today.

how long is a 'while'? well, here's a simple method to tell. first, you need to assume that once in a while someone fashionable walks past you in a mall. next, you stand in front of a shop in a mall and observe. from the moment someone fashionable walks past you, start timing how long it takes for the next fashionable person to walk past you. and that would be a 'while'.

weijian's nickname is quite funny. my very elegant maid just served us nine pizzas. now, my very elegant maid just served us nothing.

maybe it's just a prank, but something unusual just happened fifteen minutes ago. somehow, i really didn't feel anything, and i simply didn't. i was excited, but then i didn't even feel like saying anything. you know what? i might have really gotten over you.

the air's cleaner today.

quoth mary alice

'there is a widely-read book that tells us everyone is a sinner. of course, not everyone feels guilt over the bad things they do. in contrast, there are those who assume more than their share of the blame. there are others who sooth their consciences with small acts of kindness, or by telling themselves that their sins were justified. finally, there are the ones who simply vow to do better next time, and pray for forgiveness. sometimes, their prayers are answered.'

'yes, each new day in suburbia brings with it a new set of lies. the worst are the ones we tell ourselves before we fall asleep. we whisper them in the dark, telling ourselves we're happy, or that he's happy. that we can change, or that he will change his mind. we persuade ourselves we can live with our sins, or that we can live without him. yes, each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves, in a desperate, desperate hope that come morning, it will all be true.'

'everyone enjoys a game of make-believe now and then. of course, the ways in which we play can vary greatly. sometimes we tell ourselves work won't interfere with our family life. sometimes we imagine certain relationships to be more meaningful than they really are. occasionally we put on a show, as if to convince ourselves our secrets aren't really all that terrible. yes, the game of make-believe is a simple one. you start by lying to yourself, and if you can get others to believe those lies, you win.'

maelstrom

i had a really weird dream! it was a 4hour35minute-long geography paper. it was really weird because there were some mcqs that were already answered. i glimpsed a question on defining 'plastic boundaries'. now, that's really weird, because i've only learnt three types of plate boundaries and none of them are 'plastic'. and, there was a question on measurements and uncertainties, just like a physics paper. i was running out of time, so i skipped that question, and went on to one which looked like a cloze passage, those which we did in primary school. but, it didn't involve coming up with the words. instead, i had to unscramble the gibberish beside the blanks. haha the last answer i unscrambled before submitting the paper was 'google it'.

i used the washing machine today. it's so fun to sit and watch it work. talk about slave drivers. it's cool to think about how the machine actually works. mine has this programme dial that turns by itself! i have probably sat in front of a washing machine and watched it work when i was much younger, but i don't remember at all.

the washing machine demonstrates the concept of circular motion. it's so fun to see the clothes fling to the sides of the machine was it spins really fast. the higher the speed, the greater is the centripetal force required, and so the required contact force between the clothes and the sides of the machine becomes big. they must really feel like they're on an amusement park ride.

i also think that it's fun to put your hand over the steam outlet of a rice cooker when there's steam coming out. after a while, your palm turns moist and it's a nice feeling. it's like giving your palm a facial!

the brand of my washing machine is 'whirlpool'. and the first time i came across the word 'maelstrom' was in primary one or two. huanghong used it in a composition, and mrs soh didn't know what it meant! so i guess that's the etymology of the word.

nullify

met ruolin in the morning for practice. she cheated using four hands for piano! i'm tired of chamber by now, and thank goodness there isn't chamber tomorrow.

was on the train with ruolin and shanghui. i think shirong may win her bet after all. oh dear! shanghui's really mean, and i can't win him at that. you need to be like some battle-of-the-puns-king to defeat him.

i'm really hating the smell of the haze. but i think it may have made the setting sun glow extremely red today. sue brought us some mooncakes yay! there were so nice, but i feel terrible for eating the yolk =(

why is everything about a love story? something clearly is wrong with my conductor.

if i could fall apart as though i suddenly turned into water, i would, and then perhaps you would notice it every time you said something that made me upset.

happy mooncake day, and i hope you're happily eating now.

fascist

chamber is tiring and i don't want to talk about it.

woke up early for the talk on oral presentation. it was really quite useless/pointless/aimless. sigh there's homework to do now. i can't believe that the dry run for oral presentation is so soon. we got back the class photos today, and it's really quite unglam.

you were standing so extremely close today, but then you walked away later. i didn't really feel anything, so i guess i don't love you anymore.

shirong makes a good bitching partner. omg jia en is addicted to mahjong, but she doesn't want to admit it. instead, she chooses to convince herself that other people want to play it too. walked back to the mrt with a big group of people. they went for bubble tea first. sugar! shanghui has been cursed by kelly!

no mooncakes this year =(

the haze is really terrible and i don't want to talk about it either. you don't know the kind of power you have over me now.

逃避你

the oprah winfrey show is really inspiring.

i took a vrai risque today. i ran across the road when the traffic light turned red, and there was a bus coming! guess why! i won't tell you, although some people already know. i wasn't courting death.

chamber today was mainly on suk and holberg. oh yes holberg was one of the first few pieces i played with rise. i remember that i was still learning how to read alto clef. joel was testing me some my sight-reading from the green-coloured book, and zhaohan was somewhere else playing holberg already. yes, i'm always behind others.

lamed around with amanda, ruolin and dawn after rehearsal. we were playing some pieces, convinced that we didn't need violins, although i was on the violin. oh yes, i finally got to try my examination pieces with amanda. it's so cool to be able to sight-read so many notes on the spot!

are you ever going to get my hints?

好好做人,做好人

whoa woke up so early today. and i had a lot of mcdonald's breakfast! met beejuan at the mrt and we went bedok. omg siuchu called and then we both got distracted and missed the bedok station. 赢lor.

so irritating! go to tanah merah still have to walk so far just to get to the opposite plateform. and then the next train took so long >.<

oh yes i can still cycle after so many years. yiyan, weiyang, siuchu, jia en, beejuan and i were at east coast park. haha the three girls were doing roller skates while the rest of us were cycling. argh weiyang's so irritating, he always cycles so far ahead. i was lagging behind for some time, because i couldn't cycle properly at first.

yiyan and i were cycling to the other end of east coast park while the rest were making their way back to the kiosk. chey so boring there was nothing much to see, and we reached a bloody dead end. i saw dead conifers, though. and i noticed that coconut trees pointed towards the sea.

it was such a hot day. but, it was tuesday, and tuesday is half-price day at gelaré! omg weiyaqng almost died of happiness there! i had one whole waffle with ice cream by myself, and so did weiyang!

we were playing at the playgrounds at east coast park. so fun, just like the playground at suntec city's sky garden.

there was the most crazy idea, and that was to play mahjong at my old house! omg i love mahjong now, it's so fun! yiyan and weiyang are damn good at it. haha i won twice yay! oh we played for like two/three hours, and i only completed a 东风, not even one round!

it's funny when weiyang tries to sing amelie. shit, there's chamber tomorrow.

nth order

evolution

there's never ending amounts of work to do! i've just finished the chemistry spa worksheet. and laundry. those are the hours! and i've got a blister from practising the aggressive pizzicatos =( i hope you do well for biology.

semoga bahagia

today's a good day! i woke up early to go for violin lesson, and then my teacher said i played well, especially for ravel. he said i should play my pieces in chronological order during the examination - exactly what i intended to do! and the bus came shortly after i reached the bus stop!

i mopped the floor today. omg i don't understand how there's so much hair around the house. even after i've swept the floor completely, i still find so many strands everywhere when i mop! hmph hair is the greatest enemy when mopping floors. i took the hamster, in the translucent cage, flying. i have to do the housework before mummy tries to do them!

shanghui introduced me to websudoku.com last night! omg i spent 19 minutes of a 'medium' puzzle =(

happy children's day!