retire, revise

when my project work results come out, then my highest qualifications would become 'A' levels already!

what happened in school wasn't important. what's important was that i rushed out of school immediately after geography to hit donut factory before they opened. and i already planned to buy 12+6+24+4=46 donuts. so i started queuing at 12.10pm.

it's been a gloomy day. i was listening to the music from that cd shop again. completed the gp homework and started on h3 tutorial, but i couldn't prove that the petersen graph was not hamiltonian. and the meanie woman refused to left me buy more than 24 donuts. so i had to give up my class' order entirely. so disappointing =(

i queued till 2pm, and survived. tried the glazed donut that stephanie said was nice. but double chocolate is still nicer!

went back to school to let weiyang eat his strawberry donut. and the girls liked double chocolate too. wandered around to wait till harmoc was done using my classroom. yes today was cleaning day again. it's quite therapeutic.

chamber was watching their concert video. but i didn't go in. watched it live anyway. there was heavy rain forever, like totally.

i was cleaning till 8pm. gave up trying to sweep the floor because the dust never seemed to go away. i wiped the fans, cleaned the tables and chairs, scrubbed some walls, and rearranged everything back nicely.

it's been so cold today. i didn't know if you wanted the donut, but i intended to buy one for you too. it was still drizzling by the time i finished cleaning, but it felt nice. i went over to boarding to give jeffrey donuts, and he planned to eat them tonight haha.

if only everyone was just as easily contented.

i've felt both sadness and happiness today, although the sadness wasn't that painful. it was just some slight despair. so, i'm happy today. i was holding on to my donut box which was smeared with residual chocolate on the sides. then i decided to be like a child again and started scraping at the sides to get all the last bits of chocolate. and i kept smelling the box - it's such a unique and nice smell! i hope no driver along the road saw me doing that.

gleamed perfect. and happy.

其實心裡最大理想

mr tham did a relaxation exercise with us during civics. however, i think sleep might be simply more effective.

nothing seems to be happy today. pe was floorball, and i was playing in gordon the slave driver's team. at least it's not another mural project. oh i went over to look at the mural today, and recall some nice memories. but some parts still need touching up =( the chinese dance girl's hand isn't finished yet too.

there was a lonely heart-shaped balloon up at the ceiling in the canteen. when you like someone, you'll realise that you're always finding excuses for him.

the army uniform is ugly. i don't want it. i donated $2 today. karma: +1. explains why i've found the joel-look-alike today.

and when i was supposed to imagine flying in fluffy clouds, i was seeing myself in a garden filled with pretty flowers and one you.

so, shall we talk? 陪我講

poodle

i can't believe that i stayed up till 1am last night and woke up at 5.30am this morning.

school was uneventful. fast-forward to lunch. lunch was at kfc, and i didn't feel safe. i don't think weiyang did too. because the bishan paedophile kept looking and smiling.

then there was a heavy rain that trapped me in school. but no matter, i was waiting in school anyway. rise was having assessments today. it was the first time i'd seen mr sze in a few months i think.

i was doing my homework in a classroom. completed the complex numbers tutorial and finished reading the climotology notes. was reading the urban geography notes but then i fell asleep. and when i woke up it was dark already. like 7.30pm.

and so i left school near 8pm.

it's amusing/amazing why you would wait for five hours just to get five minutes' worth of happiness. but then it really makes you happy, regardless of how tired you are.

the night sky after the afternoon's rain was clear. there were so many stars tonight. and i almost fell asleep on the train. being this tired on a monday isn't good for my studies.

if i could live all over again, there are some things i would change. i would tell you just how much i loved you, and i wouldn't have let you leave. then maybe i wouldn't be in so much pain now. i wouldn't have had to fall for other people, because i already had you all along.

那么就痴痴地等吧。

天公

no i woke up early, but fell asleep again so i didn't go and queue for donuts =( it's been an uneventful day again.

contrast

completed my maths assignment. and i've got nothing to do now. shall go and queue for donuts tomorrow if i wake up early enough. i would love to talk again, but just in case we end up arguing like before, i'll choose not to initiate any conversations.

i'm beginning to be able to remember faces.

勞斯.萊斯

cerulean

pe lesson was weird.

lunch was at cafe cartel. the veggies sucked, but the fish was quite nice. then i went back to school with weiyang and seibu for chemistry remedial. oh yes i'm finally getting the chemistry revision i need. today i recalled the iodoform test, fehling's test and tollens' test. the chemistry teacher actually took photos to check attendance.

and then it was raining (heavily).

went to library to do maths assignment, and found out that seibu's damn lousy la. the posters in the library said that 属蛇的 will keep losing money this year =( 属马的 will get lots of money, and 属龙的 will find love. but 属马的 is my 贵人.

had sakae sushi for dinner.

interstate

the bougainvillea blooms along bishan road were so pretty. wondered if they were already there last night. when i reached school the first thing i saw was that you were at the amphitheatre happily talking with the syo people.

gp comprehension test made me so frustrated.

siuchu and i sat with mr lee for lunch. then i felt like buying donuts from donut factory. but then i didn't feel like buying anymore. i waited for nothing again. sat in ri for a while, and then left. got off the train at city hall, and walked home from there again. it's been a really hot day, but there were gentle breezes.

i'm tired today, and i have to clean the classroom again soon.

everyone's waiting for their phones to vibrate. you know you like him when you're waiting and waiting for his reply. when the phone vibrates you get all excited. but when you realise that the sms isn't from him you get disappointed.

原来爱情的世界很大
塞了多少幸福还是有空虚
原来爱情的世界很小
小到三个人就挤到窒息

seven

tamie made me do this!

seven weird facts about me:
1. i have an imaginary friend who hasn't died of a car crash yet.
2. i think that 35 is really old. people should retire/die by 35.
3. i hate curly hair. people with curly hair should get rebonding/die.
4. i want to weigh less than 60kg.
5. i'm happy with my height.
6. i'm hokkien, but i hate hokkien. people only swear with hokkien.
7. i ask for crispy chicken thigh when i'm at kfc.

seven habits about me:
1. i clean my classroom.
2. i aim to score above 90 for every test to be convinced of an A.
3. i do my tutorials ahead of time. like, totally.
4. i sleep till 2 on weekends, unless i die die have to wake up early.
5. i do other stuff during gp lessons, like making ambigrams.
6. i speak to people in mirandaspeak when they totally deserve it.
7. i write my tasks for the day on a paper, and carry it around.

seven things about me:
1. i used to get band 3 for english in primary school.
2. i love maths, but not h3 maths.
3. i'm 60.5kg.
4. i'm 170cm tall.
5. i have long fingers. long enough to play a major 10th on the piano.
6. i wouldn't mind queuing another two hours for donut factory.
7. i have curly hair.

seven people i love:
1. me.
2. myself.
3. i.
4. don't tell you anymore.
5.
6.
7.

seven people that i don't really like:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. just trying to be nice.

seven desires:
1. fly to a countryside.
2. die by 35.
3. get A for gp.
4. six-figure monthly salary, without decimal point.
5. never age at all (if i don't die by 35).
6. chocolates.
7. get distinction for h3 maths.

seven people to do this:
i understand and forgive all of you for the kind of shit workload that you're getting now, and so i shan't make anyone do this.

mr obliques

i woke up so early to catch the earliest possible train, just because gordon used capslock on me last night. he said to go to the mural at 7am. and so i reached school at 6.35am, when the stars were still bright. and gordon the king himself was late.

i realised that i never got to buying ankle socks. the mural's finally done. no more having to stay back late, up on the scaffolding getting pissed over lack of light green paint.

arts alive! was today. i spent fifteen minutes during gp lesson making an ambigram for 'raffles' and 'play', and used it for the art competition. jeffrey was there too! and he drew random lines at first, but they came out looking so colourful and nice. and then he submitted another artwork under another person's name. today, i provided the moor-tarbet people with a lot of my paper =( but i had fun making my little ambigram and collage.

i waited outside the chamber room today because i didn't dare to go in again. and amanda didn't play today. the chamber room looked like a mess again. i made sure it was clean and neat before i left last year on open house day. and today i realised that i can no longer hear subtle intonation differences. and i can't play fast passages anymore. it feels different, because nothing's the same anymore.

during the break i went out and saw the volleyball people training, and jeffrey was there too. he looked so excited to receive and pass the ball, it was so amusing.

but i wasn't exactly happy.

i was waiting in the canteen for nothing, and i had a really disgusting chicken pie from stall 2. ended up watching as you left the canteen. waited till like 7, and then i left. didn't really feel like leaving school. i got off the train at city hall, and took a long walk back home from city hall.

the walk was quite painful, because you still hurt me so much. the lighting along south bridge road was quite pretty. and for the first time i looked at the shophouses and recognised that they were gentrified areas.

i was crying for a while. because i didn't know what else i could do. i've already tried so hard. i tried cleaning my classroom till late night, and doing mural work till late night, just to tire myself until i couldn't remember anything you said. but when i see you i just fall apart all over again.

when i got home, my sister was doing another photo collage for yet another boyfriend. i just wonder how many more times she would do that. i mean, so much for long-lasting, God-approved, heterosexual relationships.

offline

i thought i was, but i just realised today that i may not be ready/strong enough to go back. and then i cried over everything again. binged on kfc for dinner. but there was a bitch customer behind me in the queue who kept whining to his wife about the slow service. i walked into a lift of alcoholics and came out smelling like beer. took a long walk around old tiong bahru, talked to a kitty along the way, and puked everything out.

yes, the viola power's always there.

驕傲

the slave-driver took this photo.

upon comparison, i think i'm a little too fat, and my teeth are a little too yellow. but the donuts made everyone happy, right?

yes koalas ftw!

the cat was so cute!

clouds and balloon. this is another beejuan production.

tonight, i played loves me, loves me not with the then-dying, now-dead flower that i got on valentines' day. guess what? it was love me! i hope it means something.

golden pig too

yay i'm typing this on cousin benny's macbook, which is starting to get difficult because the keyboard's so weird! new year's day celebrations are get more and more boring each year =( argh even the mouse is so difficult to control. and fewer red packets each year too. i spent my day doing maths complex numbers tutorial, and now i have to read my 'newsweek' and 'time' magazines. green brings daddy luck.

i realised last night that mummy threw away my box of 2007 valentines' day cards because the box looked like it was trash. daddy hasn't noticed that i'm no longer going out late on thursday nights as i did last year.

cc: cover ca-ch'ng
bcc: better cover ca-ch'ng

golden pig

my acupuncture shoes are nice!

my cousin benny keeps eating and eating. it's been such a hot day today. and i met my rjc cousin si en. i ate lots of pineapple tarts, hope i won't become rounder like cousin benny. but it rained in the afternoon, and my acupuncture shoes got wet =( watched 'just follow law' which was very funny although it was quite crappy. i like all the political digs.

not very happy today, but not sad either. just miss the big eyes, long eyelashes, and megawatt smiles. why would you ever want to get married? if you get married, then you won't receive anymore red packets on new year's day =(

i realised that the white rose i got on valentines' day is wilting. did yours bloom?

coincide

happy chinese new year! my 贵人 this year is a 属马的. 猜猜谁是属马的?

images

i saw this guy today who really looked like jay chou. and i also did my accounts and realised that i spent $42.85 on valentines' day presents. half my day was spent with seibu doing geography homework.

and my mind isn't in singapore now. ok, ignore the half-eaten one.

colours

the bag of potato chips i ate yesterday has taken its toll on me.

take5 was really quite meaningless for me. i only turned up for the record-breaking event. tell me why my class was so coincidentally situated near the certain someone's class. and i didn't even eat the mandarin orange. we went up and down bukit timah road trying to find breakfast instead.

today's celebrations for beejuan's birthday. eee everyone's turning eighteen. and then we went orchard, where my flu got worse and worse. i was like sneezing every ten seconds =( saw raywen at wheelock place. i saw everyone everywhere.

went to coffee club for lunch. walked into an art gallery after that and saw many dali salvador works.

omg i'm so tired today. in the past three weeks i haven't been sleeping enough. i was either cleaning the classroom or painting the mural (or queuing for the donuts). i had to claim back all the sleep i had lost, and so i did. i slept from six to eight, woke up, and ate pasta that my sister cooked.

are you a theist or atheist? is she shitting or peeing?

speed

you were behind me in the queue today, and how i wish you had said something. even the soya bean milk didn't taste nice at all.

i got 27/35 only for the physics test. and 23/25 only for maths test. something miraculous happened for the third time in two days. i choose to believe in special connections.

it rained in the afternoon. and i made a paper octopus today. every tick of the clock takes away something.

what could have been a happy ending for the day got fucking ruined.

je vis pour toi

i finally found the medication i should have sought a long time ago. it's called 'strepsils'.

today has been a day of mixed feelings. it started out happy, when i was exchanging all the valentines' day gifts. let's see, weiyang's present was really interesting! it was lego. and sonya liked the spongebob i gave her.

we found out the secret identity of mr lee today! weiyang let me eat one of his reese's peanut buttercup because it was too fattening.

turns out that stephanie was my class valentine. the canteen was super crowded and hot that i went to the music room for some air-con. then unhappiness set in when i was trying to decide how to give away my last present. gordon was playing connect4 with weiyang, and kept losing! i won gordon once too. siuchu was singing a duet in the canteen. and then we went to art club, where yiwen gave us some really nice cheesecake she made.

made a valentines' day card during art club session, and my paper heart was so crumpled because of my sweaty palms. it wasn't nice. still wasn't feeling nice. went to the mural after that for the last bit of painting. oh the chinese dance girl's almost done. just the hand on top left.

oh, jeffrey came later and edited the street dance girl's hair. he ate lots of chocolate too! heqi brought us nice chocolates =) with funny quotes on their wrappers. will you be mine? stayed back to listen to gordon and heqi discuss the unveiling ceremony. and i received a very nice-smelling white rose today.

i met jeffrey again to dump him lots of chocolates. yes, i think everyone likes chocolates because chocolates make everyone happy. and i noticed that there were many stars tonight. kelly says that chocolates make you fat.

a white rose. the exact opposite of what draco was looking for.

proven by intuition

i got inspired to play with ambigrams today, and i think i've created one of my best ambigrams ever. sonya's name is quite hard to be be made into an ambigram, but huixing's is so easy!

i got cut by four pieces of metal at one go today. they are like paper cuts, which mean they're going to really hurt tomorrow =( feel so dumb now =( never mind. i'm not dumb. i was painting at the mural again today. oh it's finally going to be finished!

jeffrey was using the roller to paint the rest of the wall, and it looked so nice. but he painted over much of the dark green wall too haha. elspeth shall repair that problem! haha i've learnt about how to use the roller to paint. for a start, you have to keep your mouth closed or else you'll get paint in your mouth, which according to jeffrey tastes bitter. don't know why, but the roller just kept squirting bits and paint on us =( now my hands have white flecks everywhere.

elspeth was speaking mandarin today. and she gave all of us chinese names. i'm so happy today. the mural's going to be finished!

ok, so i thought i could scare jeffrey with the girl in the dark alley behind his hostel. but he said that she told him that she didn't like me because i pointed at her =( ok, she's not coming to find me tonight. she's so not allowed to do that! i mean, like, totally.

oh, please don't wear crocs and think that it's cool.

a contemporary fairytale

read siu chu's blog entry on 9th february 2007.

yo gayboy

i saw jeffrey on the way to geography class, and i got back the essay scripts. scored 12/16, which isn't so bad. complex numbers is so difficult to understand, and it's not like i can understand vectors as well =( gp lesson was crappy.

mural work today was so tiring. i spent a long time trying to draw the chinese dance girl's hand. but in the end someone else drew it anyway. i spent an even longer time painting the big green curve on top of the wall. because in between i had to keep touching up on things like black lines, orange curves, skin tones and everything i didn't want to see. people care about details. so, basically i was at the mural from one to eight.

i was just sitting on the scaffolding and painting and painting, as though subconsciously. just painting it for ever and ever, until suddenly i realised that i'd finished the entire of the part i was supposed to do. by the end of it all, i was simply so physically and emotionally tired. felt like crying. walked really slowly back to the mrt. and i had no dinner.

this is the latest development. i'm going to play for syf. not about to regret missing syf after missing the chamber concert.

得到最大結果

the uncle who gave me the violin said it's worth 4 to 5k, but my teacher estimates that it's at least 6 to 7k. guess i'll never know it's true value. but i have the certificate that it's a genuine hand-made violin.

i had kfc for lunch today. i'm sure jeffrey would not approve. i walked round and round citylink mall and found something for the class valentine. then i walked past the donut factory queue at raffles city again and again.

went over to plaza singapura where i met siuchu who bought cookie ingredients for sheena's birthday. and then we went jia en's house to bake. yay. jia en takes twenty minutes for one mcflurry.

matrix:
run sun pun
ray say pay
round sound pound
rail sail pail
raint saint paint
rick sick pick
ring sing ping
raddle saddle paddle
rock sock pock

等待

i woke up at 9, the time when mural work started, and rushed to raffles city. i was hoping to hit donut factory early to buy the donuts without having to queue. and yes, i got there at 10, but they didn't open till 12.30pm.

tried doing some shopping around the area, but nothing was really open. i went over to millenia walk trying to find candy empire, but it was so freaking difficult to find it i don't know why. is it so difficult to find a shop? am i reaching for the stars here? not really.

when i found candy empire, it was still not open yet. then later i bought this really expensive strawberry milk from it. i went on to toys'r'us at suntec, where many of the shops were still not open yet. i don't understand. doesn't anyone go shopping on a saturday morning. and not like it was very early already.

quickly made my way back to donut factory to see if there was already a queue. and yup, there was a queue by 11. and so i became the ninth in the queue at 11. omg the queue became so long (physically and temporally). and damn i didn't bring any homework to do. could have completed my vectors tutorial while waiting.

i almost borrowed notes from some guy to read. he seemed to be reading geography stuff. i saw some bit on 'evapotranspiration'. all the time, i was listening to the music that was being played in that cd shop. omg, i could have like made friends with people in the queue because i was so bored.

it was quite an interesting experience. for some reason, donut factory's donuts must be so nice that it actually attracts pregnant women to go there and queue for like don't-know-how-long to buy the donuts. it's like some pilgrimage, to prove their sincerity in wanting the donuts. and then i heard the pregnant woman behind me tell her husband that the foetus woke up already, which led me to think about whether a foetus in a womb actually sleeps and wakes up.

when the store finally opened, the smell of the donuts just kept coming! when i looked back at how long the queue was, i kept laughing to myself. luckily i made the right choice to start queuing at 11. so, after queuing for almost two hours, i bought 24 donuts! 12 for home and 12 for mural! i exhausted most of the flavours for the home ones, but i bought only the chocolate flavours for the mural people.

funky flavours! wasabi cheeese, spicy cheese, double chocolate, hazelnut milk chocolate, peanut butter glazed. and many, many others!

and then of course after queuing for so long, you have to boast about the fact that you got the donuts. i enjoyed letting the smell of the donuts waft through the train! and i'm quite sure many people were looking at my donuts.

craziest thing i've done this week/year! but i suppose good things are worth queuing for.

ok, so i was rushing to school to get the donuts to the mural people as fresh as i could. and everyone was so happy to see the donuts! even gordon, who preferred 'donuts' to be spelt as 'doughnuts'. haha jeffrey was so excited to open them. omg the double chocolate donuts were damn nice, according to all those who ate it. haha i have it at home! oh, would you believe that when i asked jeffrey whether he wanted to lick the chocolate on the box, he actually took it and licked it?

so, lunch was donuts. and i'm really happy today.

after that, it was all work work work. i touched up lots of orange and light green. gordon was getting pissed because there was still so much painting to be done. dinner was ruffles potato chips sponsored by lingxi. i ended up staying till 9.30pm =( and gordon was scaring me with ghost stories. had to call paul to talk with me until i walked near enough the mrt.

i don't understand why it was so fucking noisy on the train home. i wanted to bitch-slap the people who kept talking and talking and laughing so loudly. mirandaspeak: so when do i laugh?

looking forward to monday.

pyrrhic victory

school was quiet today, because there were no j1s around. and so the amphitheatre was quiet when i walked into school. i saw you there.

chemistry spa was so exhausting even though oxygen was produced. i was still tired after the whole thing. omg the first time i did the experiment i didn't see any bubbles coming out, so i threw away everything and repeated it =(

i made myself useful during pe lesson.

yes, i had four tests this week. but to compensate for all of that, i didn't have gp lessons at all. yay i hope every week's like that.

i taught elspeth some mirandaspeak today and it was fun. we started on mural early, and it was so unglam to be seen dragging the whole trolley of paints and pails and boxes. i was painting the high parts of the scaffolding which was so dusty =( but gordon was nice today and treated us to drinks. oh and jeffrey came to paint for a while after running at macritchie. he was on the scaffolding painting too. and according to heqi, the scaffolding's supposed to be used by one person at a time only. well, i suppose i'm covered by insurance.

someday i'll jump like 248cm for standing broad jump too. a random thought came to me today. do trees die of natural ageing? i can't really imagine a tree dying because it's too old. i suppose some things can have non-terminating lives.

i had an expensive souffle today from mos burger. if money can't buy happiness, then why donate? you've got to show the world that they are too slow for you. walk fast, and hold you head up high.

don't understand why some people are so nice/dumb that they don't know anything =( stop leading me on! from a t-shirt i saw today: friends are forever. boys are whatever. seibu: you're forever whatever.

twisted

this post is about regrets.

last night i kept calling you. i kept crying for joel, but he didn't answer me. so i talked to myself. i was looking out of my window, and for a while i thought that if i flew out of the window i could find joel again.

i had the malay food stall for recess today, and you had the one beside it. i think h3 maths is simply too difficult for me. i didn't complete the tutorial that i had to hand in. so i think i should just quit h3. why wouldn't you even say 'hi' when you walked past me during your lunch break?

physics practical was easy, but i plotted the wrong graph. no worries, i manipulated the equation so that i didn't have to redraw the graph. we left class even before mr sze released us. what is it going to take for you to know that i still like you, that i'm still so hurt by what you said?

i overslept on the train home again. even diamonds turn into graphite after long enough. God bless his parents, but he's a bastard.

let's jump together.

銷魂

i've come to a realisation that donuts from donut factory look like the donuts on neopets.

i'm so tired today because i was baking until ten last night. geography lessons are fun when ms law and mr lee don't agree on issues. when ms law showed us a settlement apparently built in a meteor crater, mr lee explained that it was a settlement planned in a circular manner.

brought my cookies for the art people too. print-making today was fun. but i was too afraid of cutting the acrylic too deep. oh, in the afternoon sonya smsed me that her sister found my cookies nice, which was encouraging because it was my first time making cookies from scratch. not betty crocker.

chamber concert was today, and then i realised i never got to play in an all-chamber concert. i was watching the concert i couldn't play in, and it was nice. i still like suk. when in the past you could play along, now you can only watch and clap.

walked past the mural when clara went to buy chocolate during the interval. sometimes you are in the moment of confusion. and i was. i was thinking what i was doing painting walls instead of playing viola. but it's just a phase, isn't it? i don't think i could bear going to another concert in which i should have been playing.

i'm so tired today because i was baking until ten last night. i couldn't complete the h3 tutorial that i'm supposed to hand in tomorrow. heck, maybe i should just drop it altogether.

i felt happy for chamber. and i caught an empty train home, but i didn't feel like going home, because if i did i would want to drink up all the alcohol at home. i feel some pain because i miss you.

i'm so tired today because i was baking until ten last night. is it too late to go back? yes, it's too late; it's time to sleep.

paralysed

i was awake for most of the day. just that for some reason, after chemistry lecture i suddenly became very tired and my eyes couldn't open. played floorball for pe. i did a few standing broad jumps today, and made one lucky 210cm jump.

went to the mural before h3 maths. haha jeffrey was still there trying to perfect the street dance girl. he was redrawing her hand. and when i came back from h3 maths it was already done. so fast. like, totally.

i was lucky enough to be called to hand in the by far most difficult h3 maths tutorial in two days =( i can't really call shanghui to ask him how to do it.

i was baking cookies from six to ten. towards the last hour i was frantically moving between the kitchen and the living room, because i wanted to watch the new show on channel 8. because cookies need love, like all children do.

told you on 29th january 2007 that i predicted peanut butter cookies in my near future. but i don't think the cookies taste nice =(

if only you were as friendly to me as you are to everyone else. are you jealous of an imaginary friend?

j* b**

it's not a nice day today. james called me something so vulgar that he never called me before in the past. i think he meant to do it. there's no way you could do something like that so many times without meaning to.

i realised that the first thing yiyan said to me in many days is to ask me to shut up. simply because i told jia en to shut up during lecture. zhichao's artwork is fantastic. he made many of the new chinese new year decorations for the classroom.

i went to the track after lunch to be alone. surprisingly, there were no classes haven't pe lessons at that time. and so i sat at the spectators' gallery. isaac was there throwing his rugby ball. i was talking to joel for some time. and then i started crying because i was just so tired.

went to the mural, where we began drawing the last part. elspeth made me climb up the big stand to draw the stuff at the top. it was quite scary. then i was touching up on the paint because gordon smudged everything for some reason i still don't understand. i painted back the street dance girl's hair really nicely.

couldn't continue cleaning my classroom because harmoc was using it. so seibu brought me round and round school looking for a place to do homework. we tried the music room, where i saw and watched shanghui conducting sectionals.

i scrubbed the windows and another wall today and left school only at eight. on the way back to the mrt, i was walking behind a pair of j1s who were holding hands. but they let go when they reached the lighted areas. on the train back, james words just kept resounding in my head. i intended to skip dinner, but in the end i had kfc. had the most piping hot cheese fries ever, and vomited everything out at home later.

joel could cheer me up. just a hug would do. you have no idea how fucking hard i'm trying.

stuff and money

i finally know why marcia cross looks fatter and fatter every subsequent episode of desperate housewives. she's pregnant with twins! omg am i very slow on celebrity news?

i did some shopping today. first, i was at ntuc buying the ingredients for my peanut butter cookies. then i was at vivocity's candy empire. it's really some kids' haven. bumped into wendy the birthday girl. vivocity was so crowded and big that it mademy head spin. it's difficult to walk there and make sure you've covered all the shops. i was at ben and jerry's and i met erwet there. clearly, vivocity isn't big enough.

i was also walking through toys'r'us, which reminded me that i was once at the orchard outlet with rise. that was the year we played in our first syf and came back with the highest gold. we were going to hard rock cafe for celebrations, and that was the day someone (probably shanghui) told me that joel was leaving in august.

went to chinatown to get other things, and it was even more crowded. omg why are there so many people in singapore? i think someone committed suicide. i walked past a void deck near home where there were policemen, and the cordon seemed to be around nothing but a small pool of blood and a cloth.

the tanglin camp biennale had the belief board where a certain J wrote 'make you happier than yesterday, but not happier than tomorrow.' it just struck me today who that certain J might be! i've been listening to 容祖兒's 最後一課 so much that i've become desensitized.

犯眾

i've just gotten a new violin from someone i don't know. the violin's six years older than me. i don't know if i'll actually be playing the violin until i grow old. and when i do, would i give away my violin because i'm old?

i've got lots of things to buy today. valentines' day presents, cookie ingredients, contact lenses, bag and pencil box.

相邻的桌椅

woke up early to go for operation homeworks!

which was quite fun, because my team got a really clean house with a nice old woman. we spent a long time cleaning even though the house appeared clean. the real dust/dirt/grime was at the top, on the pipes and lights.

painting of the door wasn't that difficult with the paint roller. but i had a little paint in my hair which had to be removed using turpentine! i also accidentally stepped onto the paint tray and caused it to flip all the paint onto my foot.

seibu didn't believe me that windows had to be cleaned with newspapers until beejuan made them squeaky clean using newspapers. seibu thought maids used newspapers only because they ran out of rags, or they had nothing else to do with the newspapers.

we even got a free broom, mop and bucket from the nice old woman. shall use it for the classroom.

haha weiyang's team got a house with bed bugs, and aminah wasted no time in passing the eggs to us the moment she saw us. we finished our house earlier, and so we went over to theirs. some of them went in, but i didn't dare. in the end, clara kept hugging jia en to pass her the bed bug eggs.

oh mr tham dropped by, and some of us tried to pass some eggs to him too. there was a very docile cat which we took a group photo with.

we went to bugis junction for dinner at swensen's. it was so unglam to carry the mop and broom in a shopping centre! we were also spreading bed bug eggs around as we walked. i just felt like they were clinging on me forever.

i don't understand the obsession with cleaning nowadays.

we were walking through the basement of bugis junction and it was really crowded. the last time i was there, it was night, when the shops were all closed already. i was going home after playing in the rise december 2005 concert. the one in which shanghui played mendelssohn.

once a bird flew into my house. mummy tried to let it fly out but it didn't want to. instead, it simply lay in mummy's palm and bit her finger.

locked

chemistry practical this morning was a disaster. oh no, yihui wasn't in a good mood, and i spilt the solutions like crazy on the first try. no, i don't like pouring chemicals. i also had an equally terrible pe lesson. mr koh didn't want to let me run rounds, saying that i should make myself useful. so, by standing at the side for the entire lesson, i learnt how to run to open spaces, call for the ball, and pass and receive the ball in the right way.

i stayed back today with the intention of finishing up with the spring cleaning of my classroom, but it was being used by group after group, so i went to the mural instead. had some more fun touching up some little bits of the painting. haha jeffrey was determined to repaint the street dance girl's face because she was drawn in the image of his orientation group leader!

i started making a lantern for my classroom's chinese new year decorations. then siuchu and yishi came. well, some things are just better done by girls who have smaller fingers. and so i started cleaning the back wall, while mr tham came along and helped hang up some of the decorations.

the strong bleach was able to remove the footprints and ballprints on the wall, but it seemed to merely spread the dirt around, so the wall started looking like it was blotted with dirt everywhere. so pissing! siuchu helped in wetting the wall to bring down all the dirt. and after she left, i simply used my buckets to splash water onto it.

omg that single wall took me another two hours today. i didn't manage to clean the side walls, windows and chairs at all =( did some simple wet-wash of the tables again, and i was done only at like 8.40pm, by which time the bayley-waddle house party was over already.

this is my second night of not having a proper dinner.

i overslept on the train and ended up at marina bay. i think this is the second/third time it has happened to me in the six years i've taken the train home from bishan. some people simply refused to allow passengers to alight first. they had to be punished, and so i did.

i like to imagine certain relationships to be more meaningful than they really are. it's almost as though it had to happen (by divine law) that we met twice today, that we had to walk towards each other on both times we met, that one of us had to shun away on both times we met, that you would not say anything to me on both times we met, and that i would feel some sadness after both times we met.

right now, spring cleaning my classroom is the only thing that's stopping me from missing you even more.

marriage and infertility

i went to the mural during recess to see the progress, and it's coming out so pretty! but gordon was still mean to me. i painted a little bit more today. i think clara and weiyang enjoyed painting it too!

you know bottom of the heart, but do you know heart of the bottom? sonya can tell you why the bottom has a heart too. physics practical today was a little harder than the previous one, for which i scored 8!

we played weiyang's warped version of fortune-telling using poker cards. so funny! we asked many questions about how much money we would earn in the future, and i got like so little, while beejuan and jia en were going to earn 8-digit salaries.

after h3 maths i started spring cleaning the classroom at 5. omg there was so much to do. i had to clear the trash, use dettol on the tables, clean the fans which were ultra-dusty, clean the ohp wire and stand, water-wipe the tables, and then scrub the walls! omg the walls were so hard to scrub i think i spent half an hour on one wall. and then it was already 7, so i decided not to continue. can you imagine? if i were to finish scrubbing the walls and cleaning the chairs, then i would do until like 9! and so i just wiped the white board.

the locker area was so dark, and the sky was cloudy. there was a lizard =( felt so sad that i spent like two hours and still ddn't manage to finish cleaning everything. and my hands were rotting because of the dettol. must use gloves next time. but i think i do a much better job than the cleaners haha.

bishan was getting real dark. it was windy and nice, though. met yihui at the foyer. i think today's the day i stayed back in school until so late. it's the latest i've ever stayed, apart from concerts.

i was on the train when i suddenly made another childhood memory. i was on a star cruise and there was a disney thing going on. there were those people in big cartoon character costumes moving around to take photos. then i saw sylvester, and when i was standing near him i stepped on his foot (deliberately) because i didn't like him. that was a long time ago.

siuchu read a comic before which suggested that cinderella, like many other females, was a conniving little bitch. you see, if cinderella's glass shoe was so well-fitting, how could it have slipped out? then, it follows that it must have been her ploy to seduce the prince that she dropped her glass shoe. but the best cinderella deserves the best prince, don't you think? so, may the best cinderella win.