pisces

i had a nice dream. there was ice skating with my class. in the dream, i really could skate, the way my og mates did that day when we went. and as with all dreams, they just don't make sense. there was a sudden shift in setting from the cold ice skating rink to the hot outdoors. i saw shanghui and weicheng there too. and we were going to play in a rise concert. haha weicheng was my desk partner. we played reinecke's serenade.

i guess some things are not meant to work the way you want them to. they are like non-newtonian fluids. the more you try to fix them, the more they behave absurdly. they simply screw up more and more, and then you finally decide to leave them alone, but now they don't want to leave you alone.

when the truth is ugly, people try to keep it hidden, because they know, if revealed, the damage it would do. so they conceal it within sturdy walls, or they place it behind closed doors, or they obscure it with clever disguises. but truth, no matter how ugly, always emerges. and someone we care about always ends up getting hurt. and someone else will revel in their pain, and that's the ugliest truth of all. there is a prayer intended to give strength to people facing circumstances they don't want to accept. the power of the prayer comes from its insight into human nature. because so many of us rage against the hand that life has dealt us. because so many of us are cowardly and afraid to stand up for what is right. because so many of us give into despair when faced with an impossible choice. the good news for those who utter these words is that God will hear you and answer your prayer. the bad news is that sometimes, the answer is not what you want to get.