rose

today's pe was really some bomb. we did lap training - four rounds of the bloody track. oh dear oh dear i almost died. on top of that, i was so tired after last night's concert. my pe teacher said he was also tired, but what to do? sigh. i think i ran well enough today, but i can't do pull-ups!

saw qingyuan today. haha his smile is so sweet.

i dated paul for lunch for a while today. hmm in the end i felt like i was the gooseberry instead. did a little sms flirting. but no harm done! i saw you again today. why does rjc seem so big and yet you just keep appearing in front of me?

it was gloomy in the late afternoon. the sky was so dark. there was lightning and thunder. *scared!*

chamber rehearsal was until seven. so late =( viola section so powerful! i see great future in the viola section of rjc chamber. took glen's car again! the night sky was constantly flashing with lightning bolts, but no thunder. i saw a really nice one when i was crossing the bridge to j8. the lightning cut across the sky horizontally, and then continued spreading for a while.

viola power

physics practical today was good. my results were like so nice all the points lay on the line of best-fit. something needs to be done about the blue slip system in rjc. i can't imagine what it's like for someone who's feeling unwell to get the blue slips signed. i was like running up and down the admin block for fifteen minutes. and in the end i still didn't get one of the slips passed to my ct rep. dang.

anyway, i took a taxi back home, so that i could rush to syo rehearsal. and then the bloody taxi driver just had to get into some conflict with another taxi driver. so pissing, he cheated me of 20 cents because he didn't move for a while at the traffic light. you see, when tempers run high it's easy to lose your head.

ah yay syo concert was nice. the violas were so powerful. i saw beejuan and jia en at first, but later someone blocked my view. i think we rushed in berlioz, but ravel was simply magical. i thought i saw you at the shooting stars part in prelude de la nuit. haha amanda gave me a paper flower - that can last. jia en and beejuan gave me a real flower. it's so nice but so sad it'll die after a few days. my spectacles slipped towards the end of brahms (so embarrassing!), but it still ended with a bang.

i was happy.

need a lift?

s06q was so lucky it got the attire check today. i was so lucky i didn't fail it.

i didn't manage to bump into you at the staircase after my chemistry tutorial. but, i saw you at the lift lobby on level 3 when i went to take my instruments and dawn's cello. i didn't run away this time. looking away doesn't count as running away. this time it was you who ran away. i hate you. just like you, the lift never came. i took the stairs in the end, hoping that perhaps even after you ran away for so long, you would still be at the stairs.

was watching the piano ensemble concert. they played faure's pavane! i think the music calmed me down from the hurt and anger of seeing you at the lift lobby. hmm but i had to leave the concert halfway through because of chamber rehearsal.

oh dear chamber was so tiring. no, actually i was super tired to begin with that nothing could make me even more tired. but still, we couldn't leave until 6pm. and then bloody hell we had to rush to ccab for syo rehearsal at 7pm! argh took a taxi with jonathan, shufang and ruolin. oh dear that taxi uncle used a longer route that was so jammed. we reached prata cafe and ordered food. my food came fast enough, but the girls' orders took so long they cancelled it. sigh this week is far too crazay.

syo rehearsal was nice! but i still don't like my viola front desk.

i hope tomorrow's concert will be a success. i hope you'll go watch and turn up with flowers for me.

oh yes, glen recommends the orgasmic teh peng at apit's drink stall at adam road's food centre.

later

i cried again last night.

i met paul at the stairs this morning. i dislike going to the canteen because there are so many people there. i keep sensing people staring. and the air gains density again. so i skipped going to the canteen during recess. i think that'll probably go on for quite a while. paranoid? maybe. pe was another bomb. so killer today, but i still did my 5X10 sets of push-ups. played uno in the canteen. oh dear i lost after playing for so long. lose to siuchu some more. i saw keith my ogl after so long. my ogls haven't gone to the og table for so long. i sat in the canteen with siuchu until 530pm. was on the bus later, and we were talking about how to describe people.

just like a volcano, some people are cold on the outside, hot on the inside (*cough shang.. cough* hui!). so you can describe the people by the kind of lava they produce. some are fast and smooth like the pahoehoe flow, while some are slow and undecisive like the aa flow. hey, revising geography here.

syo rehearsal was bad. not 'bad' as in 'bad', like the 'rehearsal went bad', but rather the people were bad. some people. in fact i think the rehearsal went better then yesterday's. but my viola section leader completely ruined it. i really cannot take her nose-in-air-attitude anymore. i mean, i was trying to explain to her something that she didn't do, and there she was indulging in her playing and choosing not to listen. omg someone around here really needs to improve her bloody non-existent eq.

ask me what i am doing now. quick, ask me!

i'm missing you now and i want to call you tonight.

i'm feeling so evil.

(21/5/07) O=('.'Q)

i watched 'exorcism of emily rose' last night at 11pm. it was more touching than it was scary.

i stood at the level 4 corridor, outside my classroom this morning. there was no assembly because it was raining. the sky was really gloomy, and i just stood there. today was a day of mood swings. i think i've irritated ms ooi a bit, but she made me the speaker for the next debate. i really don't like gp lessons. ms ooi says i could scold the administration for wasting paper.

i was in close proximity to you twice today. the girls around you kept giggling.

there was syo strings sectionals at 4pm. oh dear i kept yawning. hope mr farrer didn't see. then we had dinner at prata cafe. omg i spent like $2 on two super oily prata and $3 on milo dinosaur. next time i'll make my own milo dinosaur at home. after dinner, we were back for full rehearsal until 9pm.

i'm so tired, but there's desperate housewives!

maybe somewhere down the line we can be friends.

lovey-dovey

hypothetical

you are little miss perfect. i am a little imperfect.

you know it's a crush when you refuse to delete his/her smses.

i was lost in a big crowd again. it's that same pressure i feel. that is, that the air was pressing down on me. as though every single person was emitting force fields that pressed and crushed on me.

i dreamt of cycling of last night.

today's dinner was at suntec. my cousin treated, so nice! and then i had bravissimo. oh dear i do hope that gelato was really 97.5% fat-free.

on a runaway train

woke up very early to attend syo sectionals, which went fine for once. ike's so funny. glen, shanghui, jonathan, jinghui, dominic, adriel, yizhe and i went to adam road food centre for lunch. hmm it was my first time. the food there is quite quite nice. i was sitting with shanghui, glen and jonathan. oh glen was so nice he treated us to mutton soup! and then he introduced us to the very nice teh peng that was super thick and super sweet. (jonathan: since when has lava been runny?) so in the end, the table was full of plates and cups that it looked like eight people were eating there.

shanghui still calls me stupid. and glen doesn't pronounce shanghui's name correctly too!

we were walking back to the bus stop when i was almost knocked by car because i wasn't paying attention to the traffic on the road. glen was so full he said that if someone hit his stomach he would puke. yizhe tried to hit him, and failed to realise that he would have puked on him.

mr farrer was here for the first rehearsal. it was quite nice. he's got a unique sense of humour, and his berlioz is so super fast. he tells us that brahms was a heavy cigar-smoker.

today there was dinner after syo rehearsal. didn't each much because i was still so bloody full after the lunch. we played 'fuzzy wuzzy'. jinghui couldn't solve the puzzle (fuzzy wuzzy likes puzzles!), and even tried to get me to tell (fuzzy wuzzy likes to tell!) him the answer by promising not to bully (fuzzy wuzzy likes to bully!) me anymore. we also played lenard's 'coffee and tea' game. oh my goodness that was really the funniest.

that made me smile a bit more today. i've got violin lesson tomorrow and i'm so tired!

i'll try to forget you for (my own) good.

joel ong, where are you?

advertisement 4

ubs wealth management - snyo music mentor programme concert
30th mar 2006
2000h
victoria concert hall

programme:
berlioz benvenuto cellini overture
ravel rapsodie espagnole
brahms symphony no.2 in d major, op.73
john farrer, conductor

tickets at $6, available at all sistic outlets.
www.sistic.com.sg

docile

sitting here waiting for inspiration.

and here it comes.

delinquent

i didn't get back my blue pen from mr gwee today. pe was a killer. i ran 4 rounds in 8:08.

smoking's a killer too. i don't understand, and i never thought anyone in rjc would smoke. but there he was, smoking in the toilet. i can't forget the way he looked when he came out of the toilet. that nonchalance. he just walked off. please tell me you don't smoke, because i feel like some failure when i realise i don't know enough about you. and i'm just becoming some emotional wreck. don't you dare smoke.

so jerik says 'what can you do?'

there was a false fire alarm, and some classes actually went down to the parade square.

a test-tube broke during chemistry practical.

syntax

learn from mistakes. (preferably someone else's)

life is unfair. (hopefully advantaged towards you)

patty

i've gotten back my black pen. today was a bad day. almost everything didn't go my way. swapnil's neck is still cushioned and beejuan is very mean to him. there are horrible people in school. there's a new gp project and i'm so not enthusiastic about it. syo rehearsal today was quite nice. didn't get to see whether alex was at ccab also, although i did see rjc hockey there.

and i saw you again today. walked beside you, in fact.

you're pretty... ugly.

poeme

i'm writing this in red because my chemistry teacher took my blue pen and gp teacher took my black pen, and didn't return them! now i only have my red pen. but, they don't know that i actually bite my pens =S

i saw you in a classroom today. but i turned away again.

beejuan has a new name for me. it's 'vain hog'.

i ate three cookies from subway today, and that completely replaced whatever i burnt from yesterday. but i was so hungry! our new timetable is such that wednesday now ends at 1pm without a break =(

hmm something different and new happened. stephanie said 'bye' to me. well, that's nice for a change.

attended a useless gp talk. i really didn't understand what he was talking about. what link to the mass media?! and everything he said didn't seem to have any connection. hmm.

was going home alone today. felt a sudden pang of sadness, as though i need you badly again. people stare, hearing laughter again. i felt that density of air pressing on me again as i boarded the train. i'm terrified of being in a world full of people i don't know. i needed to run home, i needed to cry.

i wanted to call you. i will always want to call you, but in the end never do. i was bathing, and after i dried myself i realised that water was (still) coming out from my eyes.

read this on xinyang's msn nickname. philophobia - the fear of falling in love or being in love. i think it's a very sad thing to have philophobia. don't you think so?

i hope i get back my pens soon.

sugar

oh my goodness paul yap from 07s07b is soo sweet. he says that ants like him a lot. was at the canteen just now with siuchu and him and his classmate. haha actually he was dating me, and he wasn't shy about it! anyway, we did the gp quiz with paul and his classmate. paul got 50 only! oh my goodness that's some man. i think it boosted his ego a bit. oh haha siuchu is 140, and i'm 150.

oh dear a hormonal problem! like the three milankovitch cycles.

ohm

chemistry test was so easy yet so hard. omg i rushed through it and i still didn't have time to check my answers, especially for the stoichiometry questions. ahh i couldn't determine the period of element x! oh dear i think that's 2 marks out of 35, and i managed to do the rest.

today's gp lesson was finally something interesting. we did something crappy like the brain-gender test. my score is 150. and siu chu's brain is more man than mine. beejuan's is 270!! haha so demure. james was mean to me.

pe was crappy. i didn't understand the game and i fear balls. i caught it, but when chee meng shouted my name, i practically screamed and then threw the ball back at him. (he's from the opposing team.)

panda made me go gym. i'm so tired now. daniel is still very mean.

hmm met wong li at the computer lab. he's so much nicer than some people.

braving the elements.

paragon

you were laughing at me today.

i was high today. i was losing my hair strand by strand. the new uniform is bloody hot. daniel was mean today, and i had to pretend that it didn't affect me. i don't want it to affect me. absence makes the heart grow fonder, but sometimes it makes the heart forget.

i like my mushroom hair, but others find it funny. i find that it makes me look dumbdumb.

manda panda is forcing me to go gym tomorrow.

ha-ha-ha.

to redefine the term. no more failing physics test. no more letting ms koo deduct miniscule marks from maths paper. no more resenting the geography notes. no more gazing in chemistry lecture (because you aren't there anymore anyway). imma get full marks for everything this term.

(i hope) i'm seeing you tomorrow.

my computer has a freaking virus i think.

hyphenated

last night i drank. last night i was fantasising the day you would tell me that you really did love me. last night i broke down on my bed. last night i cried till God knows what time.

this morning/afternoon i woke up at 12pm.

what does the hyphen do? link two words and make them one?

red - colour of love, hate and anger

everyone understands a crime of passion, don't they?

rumble

i've got a mushroom head. my hair looks as though its been cut by placing a bowl on my head and trimming the excess. but i like =)

it's embarrassing when a waiter serves my food while my mouth is full and i attempt to say 'thank you'.

i didn't bring my umbrella to syo rehearsal. it rained again.

pub

my new-found pet, pavane op.50 by faure. it tells a story of a little girl lost in the woods. drops of dew fall from the treetops. a gentle breeze weaves through the forest, and the fallen leaves fly up into the air - into a dance. they circled around her, a protective shield. sunlight found its way through the holes in the canopy, shone on her like a spotlight. she became a princess, a little fairy of the woods.

spilt

i fear cockroaches and i enjoy talking to my imaginary friend, joel.

is that me in the mirror?

i don't understand love and probably never will.

was i really that dumb?

chopin's nocturne in c sharp minor (posth.)

holiday

this week has been so tiring, even though it's the holidays. yesterday's syo rehearsal was until so late! but then i saw alex at the bus stop when i was going back! haha he's so tall and conspicuous. but anyway, i think it was quite a refreshing twist to the week, to be able to see and talk to someone i know in the most unexpected place.

last night i dreamt that i received results for some chinese paper. i really don't know what is it with chinese papers and me. three people got a1, while the rest failed. i passed.

was on the train to school today. and there was this irritating man beside me talking to his friend in hokkien. and he just kept using swear words. oh my goodness, i really couldn't stand it. it's almost as if he's learnt the language but only knew how to swear with it. maybe that's why i don't want to learn hokkien, but cantonese instead.

physics retest! haha i got 42.5/50. yay that feels much better than 14/35.

was at pastamania again. then beejuan brought her friend there. oh dear i can't get the names of beejuan's friends. all the new and unique names that i've never come across. today's was apphia i think.

then i was at breadtalk with jia en and siuchu. i bought this 'chocolate fanfare' thing that was so super nice! and haha timon was there too. he told me he got 21/35 for the first physics test. and he said the test was easy =( oh yes jia en and siuchu later said that he had some gentle-ness in his eyes. awww so sweet haha.

megalomania

i (don't) know what's missing in my life now.

kacha

still trying to find june's blog.

oh dear, we accidentally downloaded window media player 10. the interface really sucks.

at the end of time, i'm still the one stuck in fairyland, believing in happily-ever-after's.

review

i dreamt that i was taking an 'O'/'A' levels chinese paper. and mr tan puay hock was there saying something, which i can't seem to remember now.

珊瑚

are you really happy? i won't make the same mistake anymore. i don't want to get hurt again. and i won't get hurt again.

it's just a crush.

continue

bewitched, bothered and bewildered

by lorenz hart and richard rodgers

after one whole quart of brandy

like i daisy i awake

with no bromo-seltzer handy

i don't even shake

men are not a new sensation

i've done pretty well i think

but this half-pint imitation

put me on the blink

i'm wild again, beguiled again

a simpering, whimpering child again

bewitched, bothered and bewildered

am i

couldn't sleep, and wouldn't sleep

when love came and told me i shouldn't sleep

bewitched, bothered and bewildered
am i

lost my heart, but what of it

he is cold, i agree

he can laugh, but i love

although the laugh's on me

i'll sing to him, each spring to him

and long for the day when i'll cling to him

bewitched, bothered and bewildered

am i

he's a fool and don't i know it

but a fool can have his charms

i'm in love and don't i show it

like a babe in arms

i've sinned a lot, i'm mean a lot

but i'm like sweet seventeen a lot

bewitched, bothered and bewildered
am i

i'll sing to him, each spring to him

and worship the trousers that cling to him

bewitched, bothered and bewildered
am i

when he talks, he is seeking

words to get off his chest

horizontally speaking

he's at his very best

vexed again, perplexed again

thank God, i can be oversexed again

bewitched, bothered and bewildered

am i

vex

still a little dizzy from 'final destination 3'.

high on alcohol.

waiting for/loving you has made me tired.

i shall continue to stand in one dark corner and pray that you'll be happy.

lost my heart, but what of it?

i've sinned a lot.

i'm mean a lot.

sadist

oh my yuck i just watched 'final destination'. i need to puke and i need to cry. oh my yuck oh my yuck! it's horrible. i keep seeing the images in my head, and now i'm afraid of my computer monitor just blasting my head off. there's too much blood ahh. i cried when the guys head was smashed by weights.

imma catch up on reading. trying to re-read 'i heard an owl call my name'. i'm still stuck on the 20feb issue of 'newsweek'. and i haven't started reading jia en's 'real love' article.

supple

i'm so glad the holidays are here. i realised that i might have written 20X20X20=6000 on my biology test paper. and james is in china. aww i want to travel too.

i finally woke up early enough to go church (after many sundays). i went to esplanade library to return the dvds, and then spent so much time looking for brahms and stravinsky, and realised that i didn't bring my (auntie's) library card. most of my day was spent at jia en's house. haha jia en got new haircut! beejuan was there too. we watched 'the village', tried to watch 'the exorcist', and watched 'two weeks' notice' oh it was so romantic but no one was concentrating because we were playing bridge with jia yun too. we played 'petals around the rose'.

i changed the picture on my file. it's not a flower anymore. it's an ice cream now.

i spent too much money today. $12.90 on some yucky pasta, $3.90 on ice cream, and $2.20 on chocolate soya bean milk. and, i'm getting fat again =( i can't walk through the ticket barrier at mrt stations with my double case as easily as before.

i'm so sad that the holidays are here. i cried the last two nights.

i can't lose something i've never had?

tobler

homeostasis takes place all the time. even my class size is slowly correcting itself now.

went for my violin lesson (!tanjong rhu!) fashionably early and waited at the swimming poolside for like 1.2 hours. watched a swimming instructor try to teach some little kids to swim. recalls my lessons at ymca.

i was on the bus home when i noticed that many of the roads at tanjong rhu end at three-forked junctions. it's so confusing. how many endings can a series of three-forked junctions lead to? so many things happen that force us to make decisions. how differently would things have developed if we changed our mind? what/how to choose? maybe we could try flipping a three-sided coin.

syo sectionals. omg it's such a hot day. and i was so tired. and my section leader so bossy!! that's so the-limit, you know? and then it rained when i didn't bring my umbrella! so pissing, but never mind, i took glen's car to the mrt.

had fish head for dinner. omg it's so big. and the fish's eye is so really gross. it's just like 'extreme japan'!

bit by bit, i'm missing you. i'll probably love you to bits and pieces.

pandan cake

today's the last day of the term. pe was frisbee. oh my goodness, my pe teacher is really very nice. and then there was chemistry and physics tutorial. i think my love for physics is slowly developing day by day. then there was the bloody three-hour break again.

i spent the last one hour crash-mugging for biology test. was surprised to see gerard coming into the class. so he did transfer back, but you didn't. i was quite hopeful to see you walking into the classroom after gerard. biology test was quite difficult and i rushed the last nine marks in five minutes. i didn't complete the paper because i didn't know how to do one of the questions.

i've survived one term without talking to you.

mack and mabel

time heals everything

i love you

time heals everything

tuesday, thursday

time heals everything

april, august

if i'm patient the break will mend

and one fine morning the hurt will end

i hate you

make the moments fly

autumn, winter

i'll forget you by

next year, some year

though it's hell that i'm going through

some tuesday, thursday

april, august

autumn, winter

next year, some year

i love you

time heals everything

time heals everything

but loving you

i hate you

though it's hell that i'm going through

some tuesday, thursday

april, august

autumn, winter

next year, some year

it's a love-hate thing

time heals everything

time heals everything

but loving you

maladjust

no you were not at the chemistry lecture anymore, neither were you at the physics lecture anymore. i got 14 out of 35 for the physics lecture test. quite many people did badly, so it seemed easy to laugh everything off, but i really wanted to run to you and cry.

i drew a cut on my wrist. and then there was gp lesson. it was a debate against s06l and it was quite boring. but s06q won. celebrate. physics practical was time well spent. i really have a bit more interest in physics now. celebrate (again).

the new timetable is such that there are 2 gp lessons on thursday, a total of 2.5 hours. that's really disgusting, but today's second lesson wasn't too bad. we watched a documentary about the shootings in columbine. it's really scary how people are so violent. how people are so distrustful of each other.

played uno with a few classmates after gp lesson. didn't manage to end the game, but it was quite fun anyway. binged on some fatty and sugary food later. i really miss you.

later.

accidentally

a mosquito from toa payoh feasted on me yesterday. now i have a row of bites down my left hand. oh my goodness there are five in a row.

after chemistry lesson we were walking down the stairs for maths lecture. turned around and you were just behind. so close but so far away. i ran down. siuchu and jia en said you were laughing at my reaction. jia en said you looked as though you walked behind me deliberately. did i accidentally let you win? how differently would it have been if i turned around and stopped moving, and just looked at you? would you have simply walked pass me again?

i tried the laksa in school today. my ulcer hurts.

i made a lot of noise during chamber rehearsal. perhaps i was trying to make myself happier. jinyong didn't come after his gp common test. took a taxi back, courtesy of jonathan.

i don't want to remember you anymore. was going through my long-time-ago emails last night. so much happened in the past. and so much time has already passed. i don't want to study for biology test anymore. i won't even get to see you anymore at biology lessons.

was looking at the night sky while walking home. the half-moon is mocking me tonight. i could see orion's belt. and i still remember stuart pointing it out to me at obs, when we were at ubin. ubin's night sky tells many, many stories, of which i can remember none. but yes, i remember stuart telling me that the three stars were orion's belt. and i didn't believe him initially.

call you tonight. maybe you wanted me to call him. is that what you wanted? that's what i want right now - to call you.

dazzle

you didn't even let me say 'goodbye'. i'll never get to see him again. i didn't even get to say 'goodbye'.

belle

mister

today's activity was batchgive. oh dear kelly decided to go back to vjc. sigh. anyway steward and shenglin and christopher were playing with this frisbee. actually it was a tray for drinks from stall 2.

joanna had some really funny joke: the wind blew the tree, then the tree got struck by lightning. why? because it sway!

batchgive was quite quite boring. and it was such a hot day. ahh the house we were supposed to go was empty. sigh then we went to another house. the owner was the auntie who sells tissue paper at bishan mrt.

went back to school, literally stoned at the canteen. then went to the amphitheatre for debrief. omg met deborah haha. and joanna played some phone prank on alex, pretending to be his secret admirer called 'mina chng'. heard that alex was very happy over the phone haha. and there was this irritating person who became very violent with the j1s when he tried to make everyone keep quiet. urgh.

og dinner. omg it was so funny. we were telling so many 'dumb blonde' and 'your mama' jokes. oh my goodness it was sooo funny. oh yes steward was so mean. he wouldn't let me try his prata and bandung.

i think i'm crushing you. but as usual i mustn't say it out.

time heals everything but loving you.

and he really did drop h1 biology to take up h2 biology. that means a lot, a lot of things.

goldilocks

today was orientation2. finally the orientation group was back together as one group. there is a new girl called kelly. and there was some mad screaming, especially from gabrielle. alex was like pretending to jump down the building to try to catch a balloon, and then gabrielle saw and screamed! and then later in the canteen during break time some j2 went to put a (big) dummy lizard on gabrielle and she screamed! again!

today mingkiat was really evil. i was in the hall with the og and we were eating our $4 hashbrowns. i had two balloons tied to my finger. then suddenly one popped. i looked up and it was mingkiat. he said 'sorry, but i don't like gays.' went to the toilet to cry and to burst the other balloon. when i went back he told me it was a prank that 'they' dared him to do, 'they' referring to stuart and gabriel i guess. and they probably wouldn't have felt anything after bullying me. no, actually they would have been very happy.

as jinyong put it, i have an emotional range of a girl.

but my og was funny enough to make me feel better. steward had this balloon labelled 'z'pantak' and i kept trying to figure out what it means. turns out 'pantak' means 'butt'. we played captain's ball at the tennis court. and then we played h2o. omg ran and ran until i had a blister. so pissing.

i'm really very tired today.

i'm so sad, please don't drop biology.

pompom (bathe)

was at citylink mall in the early afternoon. it's so scary. there were so many people. and i was a ll alone. i think it always happens when i'm at some shopping mall. it just feels like a dense suffocating air pressing down on me. and i just keep spinning round and round, looking for something but not even knowing what it is.

saw a cute little boy on the train. he turned to the stranger beside him and said 'welcome to mrt.'

spent most of my day at jia en's house today. and siuchu too. ate up many many of her andes chocolates. did geography projects. watched the dvds i borrowed from esplanade. bernadette peters sings nice. had nice dinner made by jia en's maid.

omg we watched 'formula17' again!

i'm so sad. and i miss you. i need to study for the biology test, but there's you in my head. go away!

let's stop guessing. it's tiring,

fools and kings

heaven's holding a half-moon tonight, smiling just for us.

i miss you.

was at great world city today for dinner. and i had ben and jerry's yet again.

sad of eye

i thought i had zero ball sense. but my pe teacher, being a pe teacher, convinced me otherwise. but i still don't like pe. was at the canteen after pe, and we celebrated weiyang's birthday. jae posting results were out.

he was sharing earphones with a girl.

saw daniel's scar on his leg. and he said mean things. cried at chemistry practical, but i guess no one saw because i was at the back of the classroom. then it was group work, so i had to hide away.

went to bibi and baba to buy my new uniforms. beejuan and jia en are so funny. you see, when two toilet queens are using the only available dressing rooms, that's the end of the world. first you start hearing lots of laughter, then you start seeing clothes flying across the cubicles.

returned to school for biology class. you still chose to sat far away. and you're dropping biology? i'm so hurt.

perhaps people like me are meant to be hurt time and again. it's as though i'm made of nothing but water. but then again, we are 70% water.

oh deborah just called me to say that she got into rjc!

mobile

it's a starless night

and i'm like sweet seventeen a lot

horizontally, he's at his very best

vexed again, perplexed again

retrospect

my pencil box has finally died on me. yes it's the one i've been using since primary three! the zip is spoilt and i'm so sad =( it died during physics practical. just when i got some really good graph. maths test was shitty.

i saw little children who were old enough to walk home from school all by themselves.

i'm in need of my daily dose of you.

there's some evil tag on my class blog's tagboard.

eros

a girl married the man of her life. they moved to the countryside, and had two children. every morning she would make breakfast for her husband. then, she'd watch him walk across the plains to the urban city, where he worked. at home, she would play with the children, do housework, and cook dinner for her husband. when he reached home, he would hug her and the children, after which they would eat at the backyard, where they would enjoy the blazing sunset.

and everyday's the same.

i see you see i see you

so inspired to re-read margaret craven's 'i heard the owl call my name'. perhaps my english has improved over the last three years so i can understand and explore the themes better now. oh i'm so happy that mr lee is staying for geography. but sigh, ms law is still going to leave =(

today's chamber rehearsal was sooo super tiring! hai i can't even remember what the conductor looks like now. i really don't understand what's so nice about mozart's music. why don't people love ravel a bit more? or prokofieff or bartok or shostakovich?

today, jinyong bullied me!! he hit me and messed up my hair for nothing! so sad =( hmph don't friend him anymore.

i'm so physically tired today. and i'm aching everywhere from yesterday's gym (manda panda!). and hungry. i walked alone out of school because the j2s bullied me =( walked so slowly because i simply had zero energy. thought and thought about you, and the dreams in which you always appear and walk away slowly, even though i run and run after you.

just jump.

i don't want you to stay.