cosmetics

i'm no longer thick-skinned enough to be around shanghui. i'm just not strong enough. i can't continue hoping that one day he'll treat me the way he treats everyone else. and so i chose to leave before he left me. i'm happy in art club doing what i do now. but it's not the same, and cannot be the same, because there's no shanghui.

he didn't bother to say 'hi' to me this morning. i don't think it's because he didn't see me. yeah right, if i stopped bugging him, he would treat me nicer? see, i'm no longer bugging him. i've given up chamber so that i don't see him anymore, so that i won't bug him. has he started treating me nicer? no, he simply ignores me. if i don't make my presence known to him, then i'll just be invisible to him.

i stopped talking to him on 10th october.