Friday, June 30, 2006

iambic pentameter

on my way to school yesterday, i saw a t-shirt with a very suggestive print. it read 'men are like parking lots. the good ones are taken and the rest are too small' haha.

i think maths test was quite quite manageable! it was the easiest of all five papers, and the one i'm most satisfied with. i got the last integration correct i think! 5.76 units^2! and i did the entire integration manually, you know? didn't occur to me to use the graphic calculator to do the shading of the area to get the answer.

i saw you yesterday, after such a long time. i didn't feel anything, so that good i guess. daniel was being mean again.

half the class went to lido after the test to catch 'superman', but we failed terribly. i didn't have enough time, so i didn't watch it. they watched the later show instead. oh yes, siuchu, jia en, beejuan and i took a cab down to lido from school. very funny! we koped the taxi from the people who cut our queue at the bus stop. haha serve them right. and the taxi uncle was very funny. because i was sitting in front and my seat belt wasn't tied, he drove a short distance and stopped. then he asked if everything was ok. i said 'yes'. then he said 'your seat belt not tied' in that very 冷笑话 manner, so funny!

i made another memory last night. i remember that zhaoying once made me so upset that i ran out of geography class. but that's not the main point. main point is that i was sitting in the garden, and later some guys from class came. you were there too, and you wanted to give me a tennis ball with a smiley face drawn on it, but i shoved it away. i should have kept it.

i. must. not. let. any. real. emotion. get. involved. it will only function as long as there is no true emotion involved.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

make a decision today

i was going to write about today's maths test, but i think this is more important. i don't know if anyone reads this blog, but i hope this works. has anyone been following the news about ike, whose petition to defer from national service has not been successful? this blog has a compilation of the news articles as well as the forum letters regarding this issue: http://kwayteowman.blogspot.com/2006/05/alamak-let-kid-go-learn-violin-lah.html

i don't really write about politics in my blog, but something mr lim said today at syo prompted me to write about this. the way i see it is that singapore's government really doesn't have support for the arts scene. i must insist that anyone who reads this should go and watch the next syo concert and see for yourself what a big mistake mindef is making in not granting ike's deferment. (this is not a gimmick to advertise for the concert.)

pray that i won't go to jail for writing about politics, but i do think that something's wrong with the government. sign the petition for ike by visiting the website below. sign it, and ask everyone you know to consider this issue too. http://www.petitiononline.com/ike_see/petition.html

thanks.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

texas

i created this term called 'cheta monet'. doesn't it sound like an extremely cool name? actually, i created it when i typed 'cheat money' wrongly.

difference and integral

i think today's physics test's mcqs were so crappy! and i realised i drew a normal contact force pointing outwards of the free-body diagram when it should point inwards! i was so blank when i saw the moments question! then there's something wrong with my projectile motion question. i knew there was something wrong with the answer, but i couldn't find the error in the steps =( worst of all, i left two mcqs blank on the omr sheet! can't believe i was dumb enough not to even shade something and leave it to 25% chance. oh but, i reached the gravitation question! mr kadir was saying during one lecture that 'at this rate, i don't think you'll reach the gravitation question.' and i'm proud to say that i think i've done it (almost) correctly.

shanghui was in the canteen after the test, and was making people feel dumb haha. anyway, he's so smart. he could do the moments question! we couldn't agree on the circular motion question on banking the road, but i do think i'm correct! hmph. the seven base units: kilogramme, second, metre, ampere, mole, candela and kelvin!

i had a bleeding thumb, but i didn't know what to do. i remembered i was once at swensen's with boonping, benjamin and ms pereira. she made us write down what was fun about school. i think english teachers really love making students write/reading what students write. so here i am, still writing away. let's play 'first impressions'! it's so fun. let's see, the earliest thing i can remember about boonping was that he was the one with a watch at the sec1 orientation camp.

yes! escape velocity on earth is 11.2 km/s! my answer was 1.12 X 10^4 m/s!

hairy airy fairy

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

charming

oh my goodness chemistry paper today was terrible! i spent thirty minutes on fifteen mcqs, and was rushing the last question in ten minutes! argh it's so pissing, i didn't complete it, and i still got it wrong.

beejuan did something very funny today. she locked her key into her locker.

there was a three-hour break before geography paper. i was trying to study human geography, but failed terribly! omg clara is so scary. she's like the machine that keeps churning out statistics and data. she could quote the geography notes on the 1906 san francisco earthquake, where 'fires raged through the city because water lines were broken'.

the geography paper was seemingly easy and straightforward. i don't know whether to be happy or not after the paper, though. i wrote as much as i could already, but i'm not sure if it was enough. besides, i got a one-mark question wrong.

i've got things to be happy about today. i had a civilised chat with shanghui at the laksa stall queue, without me ending up pissed. we were talking about the first four mcqs in chemistry test. i also helped a blind lady onto a train. i feel nice, like a good citizen.

i had the chocolate banana cake from secret recipe today.

Monday, June 26, 2006

brazen

my artworks have been like crass lately. don't think i've put these up before, though.

half-empty

i'm feeling pessimistic about the common tests!

half-full

i'm feeling optimistic about the common tests!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

swan song

according to http://www.deathclock.com, my day of death will be 19th june 2048, friday. wish me luck!

i went to esplanade library to return the books and dvds. took a wrong bus back home and ended up at lor 1 geylang terminal. ok, that was a really unfamiliar place, but kallang mrt was nearby. at least, i didn't take the wrong train subsequently.

i remembered walking back to buona vista mrt station from nus science faculty. shanghui had said that we should just walk, and find our way. that's what i did today! and i didn't lose my way! not that it was a very long distance, but that place was so confusing.

major achievement. i shan't call shanghui to ask about physics. i practised more elgar today. the blister hurts, but i don't mind. i played elgar till sunset.

pagan

it's the devil.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

hiatus

today was the wedding! wow so busy the entire day, i woke up so early to get ready to open the door for my uncle-to-be. auntie looked so beautiful today. and her hair was so stylish! benny took a wrong turn at the expressway (and the bridegroom was on the car too). see, i would have driven better. nevertheless, we (and the bridegroom) weren't late. the wedding ceremony was quite short, and the pastor was funny.

had syo after that. i think i saw james on my way in to ccab, but i walked on. i enjoyed 'gadfly suite' today, although i think i made many mistakes today. hwa chong mass-ponned!

something funny happened today. i went to coffee bean to buy a 'belgian chocolate caffe latte', thinking that it was a cold drink. but, it wasn't. so, i was walking with the cup of hot caffe latte in public, and i had to walk extremely slowly. still, some of it spilt onto my hand =( imagine how stupid i must have looked. then again, some people think i'm dumb, right? bloody hell, i ended up sitting at a bus stop to finish the drink. it felt like i was some busy office worker catching some precious break time in the evening, sitting in the park watching children run by.

我吃tiramisu比你吃米多. so, i know more about love than you.

Friday, June 23, 2006

teatime lunchbox

I am worth $1,546,236 on HumanForSale.com

then, what would it be like to sell yourself and earn so much money? would the money still be yours, considering the fact that someone else owns you? haha if that's the case, then i'll buy you, because the money i pay you would belong to you, but at the same time you belong to me, and therefore my money that belongs to you belongs to me! that's like getting you for free!

littoral

i just wish people were a bit nicer. anyway, tomorrow's the wedding!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

040eb4d64ef0

i'm extremely upset because shanghui made me so. he refuses to teach me physics. he doesn't want me calling him to ask, using the excuse that i'll take one whole hour to finish. does that constitute to looking down on me because i'm more stupid? well no, because he continued and said that he might not know how to do more questions than me. so, he does think that he's more stupid. but think about it, if that was the case, why did he think that i would take one hour to finish asking him? it's clear that he knows i'm more stupid than him. he called me 'obtuse' once. he's nice to everyone but me. i think i know why. and yes, for that very same reason, james bullies me in class too. for that reason, people point at me and gossip. it's not fair. it's just not fair.

joel got fatter.

ghost

if you chill every time someone bullied you, then you would belong to the ice age. i've copied down some of du pré's fingerings for elgar.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

languor

i'm tired, but i'm so glad i started on revision for human geography. i've eaten lots of fatty food today =( it's scary how everyone's so dependent on the computer nowadays. is that what control is about? when will technology start controlling us?

dazzling stars.

receipt

automate

what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong?

eclogue

hi i'm online now because after struggling for so long with the physics paper, i got so upset that i put my head under the shower. so now i'm waiting for my hair to dry before i can go to sleep. no i can't use the hair-dryer because that would wake everyone up.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

american

i went to esplanade library to borrow 'age of anxiety'. thought it apt to listen to something like that. hmm there were indeed many rjc people studying there. saw kelly, but at first i thought it was ms poh. but turns out it was kelly! sigh what uncanny resemblance.

i also borrowed jacqueline du pré's dvd. it's the video of her debut, and it's beautiful. black and white too. like the sky today. it was a gloomy day, but it didn't rain. what a surprise. today's date is 20062006. yay! do you think humans can reach the date 60022006?

imagery

i don't know why. it just suddenly hurt so much yesterday, and joel wasn't around. not even the imaginary one. it must have been my fault. i simply didn't love you enough. that's why you let go, right? i guess it must be really nice to be normal. if being abnormal hurts so much, then consequently, being normal must be really nice. the sound of a kiss is not even half as loud as a cannon, but it's echo definitely lasts a great deal longer. even a piece of chocolate would know that.

the email bounced. i hope you would still be around after the holidays. i do so love you.

Monday, June 19, 2006

appreciate

i'm so cheated, the amethyst just doesn't work.

shrek

the ogre in me is about to be unleashed. i just went to esplanade library to return some books, then i found bernstein's 'age of anxiety' cd and score. i didn't bring the library card, so i couldn't borrow the things. wanted to listen to the cd at the listening station, but no, some rjc students were simply hogging the area. they weren't using the listening station for cds. they were bloody studying!

continued seeing more rjc students wherever i went. then, i thought i saw you at the mrt. but perhaps it wasn't you. yellow, was it? i can't remember what you look like now. i'm hysterical now, you tomato.

return

sometimes, if you stare hard enough, just hard enough.

farce

i haven't started using my school account. i've spent $42 on the amethyst contact lenses. blew a big hole through my wallet, and i still owe siuchu money.

it's plastic beauty now. black is the colour of confusion and discord. silence. red is fiery anger and passion. blue is melancholy. white - purity. look out for the next installation.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

corduroy

i was enjoying a burnt piece of chicken in the morning. hope the carcinogen doesn't work. from the time i've started counting, today is the third time i'm buying food from shihlin. guess why? i rushed finish 'brave new world' in three days, and sadly i think i simply scanned past the most incomprehensible yet important part.

people say that money makes the world go round. i say! love makes the world go roundabout you! that's when you think the world revolves around you. i often wondered how money grew. since the world is an enclosed system, how could the total money in the world be increasing? while someone gets richer, someone else must definitely be getting poorer, right?

that's why, when you were born, everyone was smiling, except you. you were crying. and then when you died, everyone was crying, except you. you were smiling. looking at some people can make you nervous. jelly legs, if that's what it is.

i'll transmogrify one day.

vocabulary test 2

new words that i'm learning from aldous huxley's 'brave new world':

viviparous, largesse, demijohns, asunder, sibilant, asafoetida, aperture, maudlin, derision, squalid, axiomatic, truculent, sententious, flivver, pneumatic, hoity-toity, stigmata, simian, cockchafer, indefatigable, pullulate, ambergris, sandalwood, deturgescence, perennial, plangent, quaff, imminence, galvanic, plexus, liturgical, supine, obstinate, proffer, beseech, voluptuous, cajole, genial, solecism, avert, indecorous, infantile, abject, deplorable, inexorably, stoically, pueblo, carrion, fulminated, precipices, mesa, daubing, ochre, diadems, gaudily, obsidian, ophthalmia, goitre, innocuous, mottled, multitudinous, incarnadine, squaw, bandolier, aseptic, incestuous, kiva, beauteous, profane, vestal, agave, portentously, subverter, ignominy, coquettishly, titter, scatological, quaint, demurred, patchouli, carping, mirth, brachycephalic, aquiline, prognathous, retching, laurels, vitrify, languor, ignoble, wheedled, unwonted, viscose, collation, sepulchral, admissible, odious, defunctive, mollified, pallor, trypanosomiasis, rakishly, sanctimonious, drivelling, abstemious, strumpet, moribund, verbena, ordure, dolychocephalic, vestibule, squalor, mewling, carapace, gyroscope, gesticulating, chary, platitude, scullion, illicit, paroxysm, sedulously, approbation, superfluous, providence, neurasthenia, vantage, copse, compunction, coccyx, importunately, propitiation, fitchew, turpitude

huxley likes to write in incomplete sentences, much like point-form. he also likes to switch scenes every few sentences. i don't understand the ending. did the savage die?

Saturday, June 17, 2006

ideal

i'm so upset that i cannot wear disposable contact lenses by themselves because my astigmatism is super high. apparently i must have them specially made, which means they'll be permanent contacts, and non-coloured. no amethyst eyes anymore =(

jonathan lim, my desk partner, makes me feel fat. it's nice to have flowers blooming by my window. but they wither so quickly. and rot so quickly too. i miss you terribly, and i have to wait another half-year. or maybe forever.

endure

Your Eyes Should Be Violet

Your eyes reflect: Mystery and allure

What's hidden behind your eyes: A quiet passion
yes i intended to get amethyst-coloured contact lenses.

Friday, June 16, 2006

salad day

back from my auntie's wedding rehearsal. turns out that my uncle-to-be's father was singing in mozart's requiem too. i think the wedding is such a hassle. there're so many things to remember, so many things to do. but it's nice. the wedding is wonderful. benny's driving is so scary, i think i'll drive better haha.

embrace a brave new world.

guten tag

an interesting dream. i dreamt of shooting stars. was watching them from my kitchen at the old house, although the view was from my living room at the new house. saw three at first, then more came. some of them started to look like they're burning meteors. and they were! omg meteors were hitting the earth! i caught a glimpse of a meteor with bluish flames. it was like 'deep impact', so much so that there was a tsunami that came after the meteors hit the earth. the result? the car park in front of my kitchen at the old house was flooded with sea water one level deep.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

attitude

went for physics consultation today with beejuan, jia en, and siuchu. jia en's back from australia, with nougats. argh why does everyone bring back nougats from australia? we went to the cathay to watch 'silent hill'. i must say that it's a lousy movie with a stupid plot and ending. came out of the cinema with a cut on my wrist, but i didn't know where it came from.

we had a very late lunch/early dinner at dining @ sakae. omg the buffet was irresistible, and someone really ate a lot. like some rice bucket! we had like lots of unagi sushi, tofu, gyoza, chawanmushi (beejuan had three!), tori karaage and chicken katsu. the ika tempura was so oishi! and then there were the complimentary salmon sashimis, which no one wanted to eat, so i ate two plates all by myself! siuchu had some funny oden. dessert was red bean paste with some chewy chewy thing, and the red bean paste was so sweet and nice!

i'm beginning to feel the need to burn something. 'silent hill' was simply sick.

p.s. i found the necklace that joel bought at 77th street heeren. i found it at 77th street plaza singapura. didn't buy it.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

this pink is gay

my newest artwork.

charles

i was walking around the supermarket in the evening. saw the promotion for marigold chocolate pudding. so pooh bear and friends are eighty years old. the frozen food section was very cold, just like your heart. i went to see the dentist. had to wait for a quite a while. i could recognise all the music that was being played at the clinic. there was debussy's clair de lune, liszt's liebestraum no.3, ravel's pavane for a dead princess, tchaikovsky's swan lake act 3 scene 1, nyman's the heart asks pleasure first, and massenet's meditation.

i want braces, but i don't want my teeth to be plucked.

contredanse

i've got recurring dreams recently.

first was the driving one. i dreamt of driving down the same road in two different nights. there was some difficulty in stopping the car, and the road seemed to change direction suddenly when i turned at the junction.

the other recurring dream was the one in which i was on a cruise ride. not sure if it's considered a cruise, because the thing was big enough for a holiday trip, but small enough to be rocked by storms. and that was the scary part of the dream. twice i dreamt of this, the cruise was in the middle of a storm, and it was like a horror movie. i think they were nightmares.

city

woke up early today for chamber, which was extremely boring. after chamber, i lingered in school to watch wendy, chenjie and shawn eat. i tried to get paul down to the canteen but no, he couldn't/didn't want to. wendy, chenjie and shawn dumped me in the canteen. they went to study in the air-conditioned library. it was an ultra-lonely walk back to the mrt.

so i guess that's a 'no', and i miss you terribly. cried on the train home. as you can tell, i needed more than just geography notes. and sometimes when you want something so bad, you would do anything to get it.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

on the ball

i think i have a very boring life. i did the 2004 chemistry paper today. exceeded by twenty minutes and still had many mistakes. still haven't gotten down to studying for geography. my sister brought me and mummy to ichiban boshi at great world city. i liked the salmon sushi. the tempura ice cream was quite lousy =(

well, i did save some money.

aftertaste

i need to see you soon. watching desperate housewives made me cry last night. when writing about you, the pen should be dipped in a rainbow. i'm feeling light-headed now. and it's not a head rush.

Monday, June 12, 2006

海枯.石烂

sweet smell of incense
dancing to the viennese waltz
smiling inwardly

any idiot can
write haiku. just stop at the
seventeenth syllab

Sunday, June 11, 2006

fracture

i did an online personality test which indicated that i should have been an arts student. so, either the internet is lying, or i've chosen an entirely wrong set of subjects to do. i did the chemistry revision test paper. no answer sheet, though.

i've read from http://twentyonedayhabit.blogspot.com that it takes 21 days to form a habit. i've also read from siu chu's blog that it takes 21 hours to fall for someone. i need to talk to you.

calendar

what anomalous weather systems we have at work now! it was another gloomy morning. would you rather have a gloomy day that brings surprises, or a lousy bright and sunny day?

Saturday, June 10, 2006

glitterati

i've just seen the blog of the rjc mep students who went to london. i think alison lapper is an inspiration. and london is just so beautiful. i would really love to go there someday. if i had enough money maybe i could spend one day getting lost in harrod's.

i'll quote from my entry on 23rd april 2006. are you talkative because people don't listen to you? do you bully people because you feel vulnerable? i've read something that is so painfully-chillingly true. read something from some place which i shouldn't have visited. beejuan used to say that i'm vain, and the thing that i've read scares me. now, i'll add one more line. do you look good because you are ugly inside?

who's elijah in the bible?

albino

sometimes, a gloomy day will still bring you surprises.

today is haojin's and mazlan's birthday! it was raining on my way to syo. the storm weathered down (eh pun) to a fine drizzle when i reached botanic gardens. syo rehearsal today was shostakovich, and we ended early!

rjc mep went to london, and some of them brought chocolates for us! it really is a nice gesture. i hope i didn't get too fat. i only ate five squares of cadbury, unlike some young cellist who ate forty! ok, and i also ate one of ruolin's chocolates.

shuxiang's got the american accent. i wonder if joel would come back like shuxiang did. i'm disappearing, just as someone requested that i did a few days ago. you could dance to la valse. i've got to go, a dementor is trying to get me.

yes, a gloomy day brings us surprises. it begins with someone needing some comfort in such a worrisome time, and someone else present to provide that which is needed - the silver lining in the darkest of clouds. but one must always know that the gloomy day will soon disappear into non-existence. and together with it, it's surprises.

Friday, June 09, 2006

bolero

had to go to school in the morning to do project work again. i was bloody pissed at the morning train. there were too many people and i couldn't get on. it was a gloomy day. i saw the j2 councillor in the library. ever since the council nominations, i just keep seeing that j2 councillor everywhere.

met sonya and zhichao in school!

i may be dying. siuchu told me where she was having dinner, but after a few hours i forgot. she said it was a place where we ate at once. and i still took an extremely long time to recall. and remember that day i smelled something burning, when there was nothing around? could it be a brain tumour?

went to esplanade to return cds and books. there was an exploration workshop at the concourse. the lady was introducing this instrument she created. it was called the 'harmonic whirlies'. they were like these corrugated plastic tubings which would create pure harmonic notes when spiralled through the air. it was heavenly. met ruolin at esplanade library. she was mugging some score!

i would like to watch 'the 10th kingdom' again. and i just recalled that you played the violin once to show me. you either played 'long, long ago' or bach's 'gavotte', i can't remember clearly anymore.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

ambigram

my pimple is just going to burst if i eat anymore =( syo resumed today. i was walking past the volleyball court at ccab, where there were some guys playing soccer. i had a feeling that they were going to lose the ball and it was going to roll directly at me. and it did! i think i've got some sixth sense, because every time i think that, it happens.

half of the studio was empty when i entered. the stands and chairs were stacked to one side, and only the violins' chairs were arranged. wonder who could be so selfish?! i set up the viola and cello chairs single-handedly ok? today's rehearsal was completely mozart. i really found it boring. really wished we could do shostakovich.

played on ruolin's cello during the break. andris corrected my hand shape. i love brahms' first cello sonata!

i think, by now i should get used to people leaving me. 'amelie from montmartre' sounds like a nice movie.

techie

ivan! it's the new design on my file.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

gotta enjoy it while it's there (500th entry!)

this tiramisu was too bitter with rum. but maybe that's what love is supposed to taste like.chocolate truffle and strawberry cheesecake. sometimes, things aren't what they seem. you may think that the pink and blue liquids are in one bottle. but if you were to look closer, just close enough, you would realise that they are in fact in two very separate compartments. two very separate worlds.

double entendres

i've done the 2005 chemistry paper. i took two hours to complete it, and still had many mistakes. i had laksa for dinner. i was looking forward to syo tomorrow, but it feels so crappy now. thursday means that half the week has passed, and i've yet to start on geography revision. people think i should just disappear. if it's any consolation, i'll die eventually, and whilst everyone goes to heaven, i'll go the other way. is 'you should disappear' a euphemism for 'go and die'?

it doesn't make sense that i keep on waiting until 2am trying to fit your schedule, but there i was yester-night, the night before, and many nights before. it also doesn't make sense that i try so hard to wake up early in the morning to fit your schedule, but there i was, trying my best to do it again and again. something's wrong, and you're gone. you're always not there.

living in high society, and i'm happy loving you.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

jackal

i'll quote from desperate housewives.

you know? the opposite of love is not hate. it's indifference. if you hate me it means that you still care, and there is still that connection between us.

i would love to watch shooting stars with you.

prelude

woke up early this morning (again!) to go to central library with siuchu to do more project work. i was at the mrt station, and instinctively i walked to the far end of the station. just remembered that i didn't use to board the train at the ends, until secondary school, when someone used to take train with me. but ever since then, i've been using the doors at the ends. i guess people do change.

at the library, we borrowed a few more books and went up and down the building. then ,we ate at han's cafe. omg i had too much cake. there was chocolate truffle and tiramisu. urgh i think the tiramisu we made was better. their tiramisu had too much rum, i couldn't feel the love. siuchu had the strawberry cheesecake. it was a gloomy day.

met jia en, beejuan, aminah and weiyang at lido. rise was busking along orchard road again, but i didn't support because i didn't have coins. we watched 'the omen'! omg it was such a waste of money. i covered my ears at the scary parts. it looked somewhat like 'final destination 3' though. jia en and beejuan kept screaming! i thought i saw boyle after the movie. turns out it was him, and he was watching the movie too. he was running running away from us because he was with a girl! but i think he was running away from me =(

out of lido, we went straight for dinner! somehow, i kept sensing that i would see you somewhere. was it an omen? i didn't see you in the end. just felt an omnious presence. maybe it was that presence that caused me to break my sandal again >.< we ate at taka's food court. oh my goodness i had this $8 japanese curry rice thing. it was so extremely nice! and it came with a bottle of tasteless green tea. without sugar, drink as much as you want. beejuan and aminah were having this super tempting brownie! but i had spent too much on food already.

we went to cathay and walked round for a while. then we went to heeren because beejuan wanted to go to hmv. we also went into 77th street. i recalled being at cathay with joel, just that 5 days before he flew off. we were there very late, and it was much quieter. no bustling crowds. and i was at heeren with joel once too, on that same day. today, i went back to that exact same shop where joel and i were at, but i couldn't find the necklace that he bought. i couldn't recall exactly the design of the what's-it that hung on the necklace, but i remember that it had a red crystal.

i got a present from siuchu today, and it has a sad story behind it. beejuan gave me a card. i feel so popular. oh well. it felt sad to walk to the bus stop to go home, seeing all the couples around, more so when i was walking in the bloody broken sandal.

after the yoyo leaves your hand, it comes back soon enough.

Monday, June 05, 2006

snippet

got woken up extremely early today to go to school to do project work with siuchu. we didn't do much. went to coffee bean for my lunch. i had the scones! haven't eaten it in a long time. i thought i saw you with a girl in the lift.

i remembered a wedding in malaysia a long time ago. the bridegroom gave me a red pecket, then the bride extended her hand to shake mine. but being so young, i didn't know what to do, i gave her back the red packet. i'm not so money-minded.

autistic children can love, but they can't display it.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

prayer

joel is on a mission, and he's missing in action at the same time. was at cousin benny's house with sister practising for auntie's wedding. we practised till six in the evening. super tired, but still had to go to esplanade library to borrow wedding songs. i was feeling awful later. so i ate a lot of fatty food at pastamania at funan. then i felt guilty after that. still, i wanted to eat ice cream from anderson's, but luckily the waiter was busy on his phone. decided to walk home from funan.

heaven was holding a half-moon, smiling at me. i was pondering a lot of things. walked past the shophouses along south bridge road. it was really scary. then i walked past sago lane. i remember being there during primary school years for a learning journey. desmond was telling us that he wanted to create a hotmail account using the username 'blistering_barnacles', but couldn't because it was already in use. surprisingly, i met this person who was using that address in my secondary school years. it was teckming.

throughout the walk back home, i felt compelled to walk on the left side. don't know why, maybe it had something to do with reading too much 'da vinci code'. after sago lane, i passed by the terrace houses, and there was some eerie pub. some buildings were gone, although i don't remember the names.

i reached the junction between the central narcotics bureau and institute of health. this was the first time seeing the green man at the traffic light flash with the longest countdown of 36 seconds. and it was indeed a wide road to cross. walked past singapore general hospital, and the entrance to the mortuary. that place was freaky. i was actually scared and i wished you were beside me.

my right sandal broke on me. or rather, it broke under me. the strap came off, but i could still walk in it. took a detour into the new tiong bahru market. it's opened now. tried to recall what it looked like in the past. pity i don't have any photos of the old market.

"and when you've never done, or felt, something before, it scares you."

club

ok, i think i've got a problem. i missed church again, and i think i'll go to hell for that. just take me away from this place.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

systmtc gbbrsh 1

r qfhg ovzimg gsrh uiln 'wz ermxr xlwv'. rg'h xzoovw gsv 'zgyzhs xrksvi'. lu xlfihv, blf dlfowm'g pmld dszg rg'h xzoovw fmgro blf hloevw gsrh zmw ivzw rg, li ru blf pmvd dszg rg dzh uiln gsv yvtrmmrmt. yfg gl dslvevi dsl wvxrksvih gsrh, kovzhv pvvk rg lfi orggov hvxivg. r qfhg dzmg gl hzb gszg r olev rhzzx z olg zmw rg sfigh gviiryob. r drhs sv dlfow slow nb szmwh ztzrm zmw gvoo nv gszg sv olevw nv. gifgs rh, r gsrmp r mvevi hglkkvw olermt srn, dsrxs rh dsb r hgroo xib vevib mrtsg. zmw r dlm'g fmdizk klls yvzi. r'n hxzivw lu yvrmt olmvob. qlvo'h hl uzi zdzb zmw rhzzx hrnkob wlvhm'g xziv zylfg nv. r wlm'g szev z kilyovn drgs zoxlslo, yfg r drhs r pmvd sld gl ulitvg rhzzx. sv'h orpv hlnv wift gszg r'n zwwrxgvw gl. r olev blf, rhzzx.

hamsters can't recognise family.

nova

busy like the diva!

i've started on one physics revision paper and failed miserably. i really fear for my common tests. suddenly have so many things to do for my auntie's wedding. i'm going to have to start on chemistry and geography revision. and practise violin! got to jump more, and start shopping for shoes.

burst the blister on my finger.

joyj

no more talking to joel my imaginary friend. i get to talk to the real one now! but there's one problem - he doesn't reply. people like to make me wait. joel certainly takes an ultra-long time to reply. i choose to believe that it's the lousy connection. but maybe he's busy chatting with his girlfriend. in that case, i think he would be happy. that's good. he's got so many email accounts that i don't know which one to email to to solicit a reply. so, i emailed all of them for the past half-year, but i never received any reply. every conversation with (both real and delusional) joel(s) seems to end with me crying.

i remember the first time i ate at teppanyaki at junction 8 was with joel. a week or two later, i was there again, but alone. if i'm not wrong, teppanyaki is no longer there, so i'll never get that moment back. and i remember shopping with joel at heeren five days before he flew off. there were no lingering embraces, only wistful sadness on my part. so clichéd.

Friday, June 02, 2006

moss

shanghui likes to call me 'nub'.

this is beejuan looking pro.

this is siuchu looking like she's in dreamland.

this is me with nice hair.

this is jia en with the thing that she likes.

ingredients

i've got a blister on my index finger after trying too hard to play brahms' cello sonata. staring at the box with only 1/8 of the tiramisu left. i just couldn't resist it. photos from the tiramisu-making process:

the focus is the 'happy tree friends' t-shirt!

baking the sponge cake

jia en and beejuan doing what they do best. that is, to smile!

sugar, spice and everything nice.

lewis

i kept smelling something burning on my way home just now. it was dark, it was scary. i thought i was seeing things. some apartments in old flats had lights on, but there weren't any hooded figures standing by the windows. i looked at passers-by. no ugly distorted faces nor anguished cries. so there weren't really any weird things. maybe the devil hasn't caught up with me yet.

i think, at the end of the day, religion is about making someone a better person. there's no sin that's greater than any other sin. stealing is a sin, and so is lying. but a sin is a sin is a sin is a sin. so a thief is no more and no less a sinner compared to a liar. i think what's important is that the person tries to be the best he can be.

allegory

arty farty pomegranate

flustering flower power - alliteration and rhyme!

a lingering embrace

like the little mermaid

rot and turn into a fossil

the previous kiss

inside every boy, a tiger yearns to jump out!

inside every girl, a butterfly yearns to captivate her lover!

fall into the abyss

poems

this is at marche, which charges exorbitant fees on food.

this is at marche, which charges exorbitant fees on (nice) food.

the fountain at sky garden

i'm glad i can still fit in.
let's fly home.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

a monthly affair

i'm so happy today, joel was finally online after half a year. incidentally, today's the day i made tiramisu with siuchu, beejuan and jia en! so sweet, it's almost as if i were making tiramisu for joel. i must say that it was super tiring to make the tiramisu, but it was really fun. and i specialised in cleaning up.

the tiramisu looked suspiciously liquid when we made it, but siuchu insisted that after the refrigeration it would turn more solid. oh wells, we had to wait for super long for it to chill. there were lots of leftover egg whites (ten!) and two destroyed egg yolks. haha siuchu fried the eggs so nicely. my brilliant idea of adding in the cheddar cheese!

we had dinner, then we watched the forbidden film! sad to say, i didn't feel anything for the characters in the film. there was a storm earlier on today. the thunder was scary. the tiramisu turned out fine, but beejuan and jia en's ones were still a bit liquid. mine's very cheesy, but siuchu says it's supposed to be like that.

anyway, here's to you!