j* b**

it's not a nice day today. james called me something so vulgar that he never called me before in the past. i think he meant to do it. there's no way you could do something like that so many times without meaning to.

i realised that the first thing yiyan said to me in many days is to ask me to shut up. simply because i told jia en to shut up during lecture. zhichao's artwork is fantastic. he made many of the new chinese new year decorations for the classroom.

i went to the track after lunch to be alone. surprisingly, there were no classes haven't pe lessons at that time. and so i sat at the spectators' gallery. isaac was there throwing his rugby ball. i was talking to joel for some time. and then i started crying because i was just so tired.

went to the mural, where we began drawing the last part. elspeth made me climb up the big stand to draw the stuff at the top. it was quite scary. then i was touching up on the paint because gordon smudged everything for some reason i still don't understand. i painted back the street dance girl's hair really nicely.

couldn't continue cleaning my classroom because harmoc was using it. so seibu brought me round and round school looking for a place to do homework. we tried the music room, where i saw and watched shanghui conducting sectionals.

i scrubbed the windows and another wall today and left school only at eight. on the way back to the mrt, i was walking behind a pair of j1s who were holding hands. but they let go when they reached the lighted areas. on the train back, james words just kept resounding in my head. i intended to skip dinner, but in the end i had kfc. had the most piping hot cheese fries ever, and vomited everything out at home later.

joel could cheer me up. just a hug would do. you have no idea how fucking hard i'm trying.