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i recently found this photo. it must have been the december 2005 concert, because i had red hair. this was so long ago that i think shanghui was still in violin2 at that time. that means the violin scroll that is peeking into the photo just in front of leening must be his violin. danil is the centre flautist at the back.

i never knew that i would become a violist. i remember that joel taught me to read alto clef on the first few days at rise. he was testing me random notes from the score of vivaldi's winter, in the green book. i don't think anyone reading this knows what the green book is anymore, but it's enough for me to know. once, joel was listening to me play hoffmeister over the phone. and once, he came to my house to play on my violin.

then mr sze took me for lessons and put me through grade 8 stuff. vibrato like knocking on the door. i don't think i can still do that. like zhaohan says, i don't use vibrato at all. mr sze signed me up for syto and the audition day was my first encounter with mrs wong. she looked at me blankly when i asked a question. then after a while, she said 'huh?' at first, i didn't really like mrs wong. but turns out, she was very much likable, and she played trombone when she was young.

after i got accepted into syto, there was the first meeting for all successful applicants. that was when i got to know tiapyang, who was the 'chinese high boy who played very stiffly, like a china person'. not insinuating anything about china people, but that's what mrs kan said about his performance at the audition.

when i was in syto i was afraid of trying to join the main orchestra, because the pieces they played were all so hard. but then when i was in syto, everyone else was in the main orchestra. and when they were in the main orchestra, i was in the audience. it's sad that i joined only after joel left. maybe if time was turned back, i would work harder to get in earlier.

at one of the assessments, mr casteels asked if i was ready to go for the main orchestra, and i said 'no, i think i'll wait one more term.' then i missed the chance to play in the firebird concert. eventually, i went to the main orchestra. but we never got the chance to play at esplanade. my first desk partner was grace. the first piece we played was beethoven's symphony (can't remember which one). grace was very helpful when i couldn't count in the slow movement. she drew so many vertical lines to mark out the beats.

i wonder if i'll ever be on stage again. i haven't touched my violin or viola for so long that my calluses are turning soft already. that's not good, is it? i don't think i can do position shifts anymore, nor trills. octaves are definitely gone. maybe a few years later i'll pick up everything from where we all left off.